Well my friends, the time has come, for you to sit up at attention.  Excuse yourself from that important meeting, which is really just a pre-meeting to meet about the meeting stuff, and go to that second stall from the end and get comfy as you read all about the guys that spark your fantasy interest.  Run-on sentence, possibly.  Beautiful in depth truthfulness about what really goes down in the thinking process of roster configuration for multiple thousands of FPL players. 100% accurate.  Just don’t forget to wash your hands.  Nobody likes that guy.  So with the Defenders and Keeps out of the way yesterday, we now are zoned in on the front-siders, the assist and goal scorers.  The guys you would let date your sister if need be for some fantasy goodies.  Injuries abound and the potential for blossoming unowned players are here.  Build a studly midfield, flip-flop on the strikers trio, and transfer by match-up not by allegiance.  The best advice of smart men is the one’s practiced. Cheers, and good luck this week!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Boy I didn’t see that coming…. who knew that Georginio Wijnaldum was going to be the perfect replacement for Sergio Aguero in your FPL squads. His 4 goal outburst against Norwich on Sunday tied Kun’s gameweek 8 for the highest single game total of the season, and by far the most surprising of performances to date. So the question on all the cool kids minds is “Ahhhhh Ralph, do I pick him up?”. And in the tradition of any good fence sitter I’ll say, it depends. The next five fixtures look pretty, pretty, preeeettty good for the Magpie ace, and his price stands at a discounted £6.8 at the moment. So yeah he’s worth an add, maybe to replace a Nathan Redmond at the end of your bench. But can we really consider any Newcastle player to be a dependable option week in and week out? There in lies the problem, though Wijnaldum is an established player with a decent goal scoring record during his time in Holland. Do you trust him? Will he be a week in and week out performer? Or is he a player to consider when he has a good run of fixtures? Time will tell, but for the next few weeks he’s worth a flier. Here’s what else I saw in matchweek 9.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em.  You should know the drill but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position, and then, for a bonus, we show you our genius line-ups for the week.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  The best part is, you get two opinions for the price of one.  We do this as a tandem, it’s the Smokey and Ralph show.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em Week 8….

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hooray for the international break to be over so we can get back to brass tax.  I actually just googled the meaning of brass tax and it is just that a tax on brass….who knew.  Well with the week or weeks, if you live in a cave and your only calendar is a rock that you move from here to yonder, the games are actually back.  The highlight of everyone’s life, mine,  your’s, Ralph’s, that guy you buy gum from at the newsstand before the train are all looking forward to  the midfielder/forward rankings for this week.  So guess what it’s the Week 5 midfielder and forward rankings for FPL.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Let’s begin today with a serious question. What’s with all the red? A staggering 6 red cards this week…..SIX! It’s almost like the FA has turned into an angry health teacher sick of people sleeping in class. Who needs health anyway? Wait forget I asked that…… Back to the sending offs! First it was Courtois, then it was the Terry, this week it was Coutinho. It’s very possible that there are FPL teams out there that have 2-3 players that have seen red four weeks in. Some of them are ticky-tack (Mitrovic) others are downright disgraceful (Charlie Adam), but they’re all a black hole of points that we could all do without. It’s not something that can really be avoided so you just have to grin and bear it. Let’s take a look at what the happs were elsewhere in Fantasy Premier League, Week 4.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em.  You should know the drill but if you don’t, we each pick one option from each position (except keepers cause they’re…..zzzzzzzzz….sorry I went to sleep), and then, for a bonus, we show you our genius line-ups for the week.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  The best part is, you get two opinions for the price of one.  We do this as a tandem, it’s the Smokey and Ralph show.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em Week 4 Fantasy Premier League.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Everybody’s talking at the moment and it’s all “Pedro this” and “Pedro that” and who can blame them. If you watched the first half of his debut on Sunday it was easy to come away impressed. Newsflash, guys who contribute to Barcelona for several years tend to be good. I know Pedro is going to be the most transfered in player this week and it’s really not a shock. We probably would’ve seen that even if he played the final 30 minutes and just looked okay. Oh but wait he’s not the most transfered in player this match week!! That honor belongs to everyone’s favorite Fox Riyad Mahrez. As he’s now seen his price jump £.5m in just 3 weeks. Good God! Then again 4 goals and 9 bonus points in 3 matches will do that. But I’m not here to talk about Mahrez, I’m here to discuss Pedro and what his effect will be on the FPL going forward. The two biggest ripple effects of Pedro’s signing (IMO) are how he effects the value of Diego Costa and Eden Hazard. First off I think he boosts both of their value quite a bit, this is supported by the first two Chelsea goals from Sunday. Pedro can finish and create chances which in turn will lead to goals for Costa, and goals, penalty chances, and assists for Hazard. This is a much needed boost for Hazard, after he looked pretty flat the first two weeks. The biggest thing is Pedro should draw attention from defenders that just weren’t paying attention to Oscar or Willian. With that said I’m dumping Hazard all over, because at £9.5 Pedro has the very real possability of being the highest scoring midfielder, not only on Chelsea but in the game, rest of season. Okay I’ve said my piece now lets get into the Forward and Midfielder Fantasy Premier League Rankings Week 4.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Much like the underwear of a pre-teen, matchweek three was full of clean sheets and scoreless draws. It was a week with an unexpected big performance from a striker and a team everyone was ready to write off a week ago. Yours truly included. Manchester City kept rolling and the Chelsea Bus looked great and awful almost simultaneously. United continued to look solid defensively, but completely inept in attack. Amid reports that Neymar is their next target, the story remains the same. Lot’s of chatter no action. At one point it just sounds like you’re naming all the hottest girls trying to impress people. No one believes you Lee Woodward!!! Regardless they sorely miss a striker to complement Wayne Rooney. In fact I’m not sure how anyone can roster Rooney or Depay in FPL at the moment. It’s just been awful! In the Monday match, Liverpool and Arsenal seem to be on the cusp of putting it together or completely sucking. But it’s tough to tell one from the other. Does that make sense? It’s Fantasy Premier League, Week 3 – The rundown.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well here we are in Match Week 3, are you panicing yet? Did you use one of your chips? Are you cursing the names of Wayne Rooney, Eden Hazard, and Theo Walcott? Not to worry there’s more free transfers tomorrow and you can’t start re-shaping your squad one piece at a time. Let’s not forget this is a gentleman’s game like golf or a duel, one must be patient. Wait patience isn’t a good thing in duel’s so scratch that last part but you get the jist. We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em.  You should know the drill but if you don’t, we each pick one option from each position (except keepers cause they’re…..zzzzzzzzz….sorry I went to sleep), and then, for a bonus, we show you our genius line-ups for the week.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  The best part is, you get two opinions for the price of one.  We do this as a tandem, it’s the Smokey and Ralph show.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em Week 3 Fantasy Premier League.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Raise of hands, who panicked after last week when you scored a whopping 30 or under points?  Well I am not shy to admit it, I did and I am not ashamed.  I am also not ashamed of my Scott Baio poster that resides in my man den.  He is a man and he should get to chill with the guys.  Joanie is not welcome, I stand up and scream it like that scene from American History X.  The inflection not the topic.  Ralph touched on it yesterday with the back-enders, what have we learned from 2 games that will make us think there is actually a pattern to all this?  There is a semi pattern it’s almost like a crop circle, and it’s indecipherable.  With the midfielders this week it’s quantity guys over quality for me. Especially with no Chelsea love, personally they are all unownable for me until after the International break.  They may do something but I would rather roll with some other cats at mid and striker spots.  Here are the play rankings for week of 3.

Please, blog, may I have some more?