So I saw It over the weekend, and while I didn’t even come close to crapping my pants in fear (thanks hangover!), I’m about 99% sure that Harry Kane’s fear of August shares a creepy amount of commonalities with that homicidal crazed clown creature; both of them enjoy floating through open space (Kane on the pitch; the clown in a mind-altering expanse of sewer pipe only Mario would be jealous of), speaking in weird accents (seriously, listen to Harry Kane give an interview sometime), have an affinity for the color white (duh), and lastly, they both enjoy making red balloons go POP! (metaphorically speaking, that would be the hopes/dreams of all Gunner fans everywhere; FFS that’s not a spoiler! he’s a clown, he owns balloons!) Whether or not the fear of August (Augustamphobia?) has an actual effect on Kane’s past performances (it doesn’t), it’s good to see him conquering his “fears” and getting on the board with a brace, a very important and necessary step as he looks to become only the third player in Premier League history to win three consecutive Golden Boots. The other two are Prem Legends Alan Shearer and Thierry Henry, who were 24 and 26, respectively, when they won the first of their three Botas Doradas. Kane just turned 24 this past July and has two under the belt. To paraphrase another mildy entertaining movie, you’re [once again] a wizard, Harryyyy!

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The second installment of rankings is sometimes the favored.  Because who doesn’t like to score or assist to score.  In almost any format that last sentence holds sway.  But for now let’s just skip the images in your head and talk about the meat and potatoes of the FPL weekly rankings.  These fellas are more reliant on goals, assists and the BPS to drive them over the top.  So with match-ups, form and common sense as the wind to their ranking sail the list is based on just those three things.  So look at the schedule, trust the form and pray that I have some common sense when ranking these players.  Here are the Week 3 rankings for the midfielders and forwards in the FPL. Cheers!

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Listen, I pay attention to the masses going crazy on the Twitter-verse.  We all do as proactive owners of an FPL franchise, but this Wildcard already stuff is ludicrous.  Not the rapper either.  There are so many factors that apply to this that it shouldn’t even be an option.  First, it is only Week 3 my friends, chill.  A minus 4 or even a minus 8 for a one game situation (which Week 3 is) is a far better alternative than using the wildcard.  The second and third reasons divulge further into it… so patience.  Second, the international break is one week away, which makes this a one week payoff.  What does it hurt to wait… nothing!  If anything, more knowledge and news will aide in your quest for a perfect line-up.  Lastly, the transfer window in real life ends when there is a break.  That is it shut off the lights, what we have is what we play with.  It brings names back into the foray like Coutinho, Hazard, Alexis and maybe some unknown.  As sexy as it sounds to start over now, because your point returns aren’t up to snuff, just don’t.  Wait it out.  We still will have 35 weeks to play, which if you play it out right, is a ton of time to achieve top 10k or beyond status. For some S’s and G’s here are some keen transfer ideas for Week 3 of the FPL.  Cheers!

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Welcome back all! We have two weeks down in the books, and I’ve provided some insight below into what I saw from a handful players, for better or for worse. Although I wish I could write about every player, remember that while we would to amass all of the players in the Fantasy Premier League universe, we are obligated to field a starting XI from your fifteen-man squad within the constraints of our budget. Hopefully some of these players below will at least be on your radar as you move forward with transfers and potential Wild Cards.

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The Prem is here, and we can all now rejoice. Now that the season has kicked off, I will be doing my best to fill your Mondays with sweet, fond memories from the games from over the weekend. I also ask for some patience as I work through how to best provide both a summation and meaningful outlook on the matches.

I was hoping to write about all 20 teams for this post, but it started to become lengthy and I started to get sleepy. So, here are my notes over the weekend on Arsenal to Liverpool (alpha order because why not?)…I will hopefully have Man City to West Ham by tomorrow.

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This is the start of one of my weekly features highlighting possible captain’s plays for the week. Besides the obvious research in suggesting potential captaincy choices, including sleepers, triple players, and matchup players, the real difficulty in this column is clearly making sure I pick a snazzy title. Captain’s Call?  Too on-the-nose.  In the Captain’s Chair?  No pop to it. Oh Captain My Captain? Too obscure. I’m losing readers already!

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If you enjoyed yesterday’s salad and appetizer courses, then you will love today’s main course and dessert.  I realize you can’t get anywheres in the official game without having a nodded on choice at keeper and a stellar yet filled with differential based defense.  But the real fun in building your roster is comprising it with as many affordable stars through the middle of the pitch and up top.   So just like yesterday’s rankings I mix in price, match and some good ole common sense.  The form comes later because after all this is just week one of a long journey my friends.  Some great matches are on the table for a lot of star players, so here’s hoping you can squeeze as many of them in as possible.  So just in case you needed a guiding hand here is week 1 of the FPL season rankings for Middies and Strikers.  Cheers!

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The Hammers are one of the hardest teams to peg coming into the 2017/18 campaign. They currently have 7 players injured – Aaron Cresswell, Manuel Lanzini, Andy Carroll, Michael Antonio, Diafra Sakho, Sofiane Feghouli, Chekhou Kouyate – but have transferred in a few playmakers that should help them get through a pretty tough schedule to start the season. Marko Arnautovic and Javier “Chicharito” Hernández are the two big names here, and both could provide great value for a number of FPL managers this season.

Hammers start the season away to Manchester United, but have great fixtures immediate after, facing Southampton (A), Newcastle (A), Huddersfield (H) and West Brom (A) from weeks 2-5. That stretch is followed with a tough home match versus Spurs in Gameweek 6, and then back into the green fixtures with Swansea (H), Burnley (A), Brighton (H) and Crystal Palace (A).  While starting the season with three road starts might prove difficult, keep in mind that they do not possess too much of a “home field” advantage going into just their second season playing home matches at the London Stadium.

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So do you like Fantasy Sports? Do you like soccer? Have you ever made a drunken bar bet and then been asked to not only justify your unjustifiable hubris, and then asked to actually come through and perform your favorite Nicki Minaj song in public?  Well, two outta three ain’t bad. … So, if you’re still with me, let’s see how a Novice fairs playing EPL fantasy soccer this season.  The pricing value scale will be as follows:

  • Buy. Just like with every new generation of the iPhone, you’re willing to wait in line to overnight to get this.  Full price be damned, this is worth it.
  • Grab. Lightning deal online. Get it now, the price won’t get better and it’s a good investment.
  • Avoid. This is that van that pulls up next to you at the gas station and says, ”Hey, wanna buy some speakers?” The answer is always no.     
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This is it folks, last round-up. Finish your pints and kindly please put your stools on top of the tables when you leave. In all seriousness though, it has been a pleasure to drop knowledge on you week in and week out for the FPL. I do it for the love of the beautiful game, you hopefully come for the fresh cold cuts and stay for the light sided humor. Either way you get me, and I hope I at least helped you at least once this year. So cheers for the read. On to the last week, plenty of fixtures that look tasty but how many transfers do we use post DGW and in most cases bench boost. I personally still have my all out attack chip and am on the fence if losing one defender is actually worth the extra attacker. Crazy, but defense is shifty consistent. My advice for this week would be to bring in as viable attackers as possible and let the scoring and the results of what could be a wild Sunday of fixtures. Go down with your guns out, shirt off and get that last yellow card for celebrating. So last and probably not least here are the week 38 FPL rankings. Enjoy!

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