We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week’s upcoming and changes from week-to-week.  I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 24 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t.)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week’s upcoming and changes from week-to-week.  I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 19 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t.)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rankings are the gift that either keeps on giving or ones that you quickly wanna re-gift.  Either way, I am giving you them with a fake smile on my face.  So you take that as a ehh, or a ehhhh.  Either way, I am content.  Week 19 attacking players got a bit of a shock as Morata got accumulation suspension in the Cup game and will miss.  This basically sends a ripple effect throughout all the rankings.  So if you are in the mood for those type of things keep reading and get to them.  Or you can stay here and listen to me wax poetic about almost nothing, as I have the innate ability to just lull you to sleep with nothing.  Screw that skip ahead, enjoy the rankings.  Happy Holidays to all and good luck this week.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

X gonna give the GW 18 picks to ya, comon!!! WHAT!?

Top Dog: Lacazette, ARS – Pretty apparent that the week after Arsenal goes goalless versus a “reinvigorated” Hammers squad is an all too perfect a moment to drive Gooner fans mad. I forsee prolific offensive output from their £50m striker, as Waka Laca Flame played 8 minutes midweek, and Wenger will realize what a wanker he is after he plays a full 90 and bags a brace.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week’s upcoming and changes from week-to-week.  I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 15 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t.)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What just happened?  Did I get on some weird mystery machine that went back in time to when useless goals were all the rage?  What’s next, Sam Allardyce will be back managing a scuppering club too I bet…. oh wait.  So Week 14 came and went and the prominent highlights were people we don’t own and rotations that only lasted 70 minutes. Chelsea, Liverpool, and to some degree, Man City pulled the ookey-dokey on us this week in the rushed schedule which saw Mo Salah, Eden hazard, and basically prove that Pep is a liar with not wanting to play Aguero/Jesus together all happen. I usually err on the side of caution when it comes to transfers and bringing people in with rotation risks, but the first two names I mentioned are the easy solution.  The City thing is fairly visible that it will be sane to come in for one of Aguero or Jesus.   Other than that, I am on tilt with the returns of some teams, Arsenal scored 5 versus a down-trodden Terrier squad and the rest of the EPL basically is what we think they are.  I am skimming not wanting to get into a long diatribe about every team in the Premier as it relates to fantasy all in the warm up, you gotta stick around til after the bump for some transfer ideas.  If I put out on the first date what kind of expert would I be.  A bad slutty one!  So now that the wooing process is over stick around for some transfer goodies for the FPL Week 15.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Away: Bournemouth (1) – Home: Niasse (2)

Oumar Niasse doubled the Toffees goal total on the season with his 35 minutes of heroics, saving Everton from embarrissing defeat to Bournemouth. Niasse bagged his brace after coming in as a sub for the battered and bloodied Wayne Rooney, scoring his first goal with 13 minutes to go in the 2nd half. The game winner was the ultimate scrappy goal, as he corralled his own blocked header from 6 yards out and buried it home past Begovic. His efforts gave Everton their first two goals in the Premier League since August 21st, when their other top goal scorer on the season, Wayne Rooney, scored his 2nd on the season and remains on 2 in now 497 minutes.

While it would be something special for a magical 5.0m forward to emerge like a phoenix from the ruins that Lukaku left bare at Goodison Park, especially in a season currently defined by the plethora of marquee, expensive forward options, there is nothing here to make me truly believe we are witnessing the first roots of fantasy glory. Nobody knows, nay, not even Niasse, if he is suddenly going to supplant Wayne Rooney or Calvert-Lewin up top in the Toffee’s attack. What I do know, however, is that performances like his on Saturday are what make the Premier League worth watching. This is a player that Ronald Koeman (clearly not a football savant) had played a grand total of 0 matches prior to the weekend’s game. Rather than play a single minute during the first half of last season – playing time is slim pickings behind Lukaku – he was loaned last January to Hull City, where in 19 appearances and 1213 minutes under Marco Silva (definitely possibly a football savant), he scored 5 goals and made 1 assist, averaging just over 60 minutes a match. Koeman has never wanted to play him, but was forced to put him on for a clearly tired, ailing, aging and ineffective Rooney in a match that Everton did not really deserve to win.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Guys.  Guys guys guys.  And maybe one girl reader.  I wrote Tapping your Captain for Week 4 of the Fantasy Premier League season.  I reviewed it.  I uploaded it. And then I realized I was a day late for publishing.  I suffered through a hurricane (native Houstonian here), cancelled flights, and flooded freeways to get back to my one true love, this article.  And yet I couldn’t make it through the dreaded article deadline. There’s something clever to be said about irony here, but I’m not the guy to say it.

With that disclaimer out of the way, we are going to have to go pretty far on the trust factor here to review my picks since they were not made public. But if I was lying, wouldn’t I have made some better choices?  Give me a little credit!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week’s upcoming and changes from week-to-week.  I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 5 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So I saw It over the weekend, and while I didn’t even come close to crapping my pants in fear (thanks hangover!), I’m about 99% sure that Harry Kane’s fear of August shares a creepy amount of commonalities with that homicidal crazed clown creature; both of them enjoy floating through open space (Kane on the pitch; the clown in a mind-altering expanse of sewer pipe only Mario would be jealous of), speaking in weird accents (seriously, listen to Harry Kane give an interview sometime), have an affinity for the color white (duh), and lastly, they both enjoy making red balloons go POP! (metaphorically speaking, that would be the hopes/dreams of all Gunner fans everywhere; FFS that’s not a spoiler! he’s a clown, he owns balloons!) Whether or not the fear of August (Augustamphobia?) has an actual effect on Kane’s past performances (it doesn’t), it’s good to see him conquering his “fears” and getting on the board with a brace, a very important and necessary step as he looks to become only the third player in Premier League history to win three consecutive Golden Boots. The other two are Prem Legends Alan Shearer and Thierry Henry, who were 24 and 26, respectively, when they won the first of their three Botas Doradas. Kane just turned 24 this past July and has two under the belt. To paraphrase another mildy entertaining movie, you’re [once again] a wizard, Harryyyy!

Please, blog, may I have some more?