As much as some fantasy premier league managers complain about how the game has changed season to season, one truth has remained steadfast: the right captain pick will one hundred percent make or break your gameweek score. My own personal record of picking correctly has been pretty piss-poor in 2017, but I keep reminding myself that you have to play the best choice with the information at hand and not beat yourself up too much for getting it wrong. I’m hoping to improve and see green arrows again, and if not, then I will ask for support from this week’s theme and everyone’s favorite household object, whiskey! Best of luck!

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So I saw It over the weekend, and while I didn’t even come close to crapping my pants in fear (thanks hangover!), I’m about 99% sure that Harry Kane’s fear of August shares a creepy amount of commonalities with that homicidal crazed clown creature; both of them enjoy floating through open space (Kane on the pitch; the clown in a mind-altering expanse of sewer pipe only Mario would be jealous of), speaking in weird accents (seriously, listen to Harry Kane give an interview sometime), have an affinity for the color white (duh), and lastly, they both enjoy making red balloons go POP! (metaphorically speaking, that would be the hopes/dreams of all Gunner fans everywhere; FFS that’s not a spoiler! he’s a clown, he owns balloons!) Whether or not the fear of August (Augustamphobia?) has an actual effect on Kane’s past performances (it doesn’t), it’s good to see him conquering his “fears” and getting on the board with a brace, a very important and necessary step as he looks to become only the third player in Premier League history to win three consecutive Golden Boots. The other two are Prem Legends Alan Shearer and Thierry Henry, who were 24 and 26, respectively, when they won the first of their three Botas Doradas. Kane just turned 24 this past July and has two under the belt. To paraphrase another mildy entertaining movie, you’re [once again] a wizard, Harryyyy!

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We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  We used to do this in tandem, but since I am flying solo while Ralph explores all the tallest mountains in the world, you are stuck with my and only my opine.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 37 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t).

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Welcome back my loyal dozen readers to Razzball’s coverage of the Barclay’s Premier League. I hope you’ve enjoyed your time off as much as I have. I’ve spent the better part of two months living in the clubs of Ibiza partying with your favorite footballers and drinking the finest champagne. And by partying in Ibiza with your favorite footballers and drinking the finest champagne, I really mean drinking kool aid in the backyard with my kids. Though my son has better touch around the net than Raheem Sterling but no matter. Truth is Sir Smokey Prince of Hoboken and I have been monitoring the news from the Fantasy Footballing world. Waiting for the right time to strike with a load of good content to help you navigate the initial selection of your FPL squad. Today I’m going to just go over some of my thoughts on the transfers, pricing, and general happenings of the past few months. Lots to talk about so enough with the introduction lets get into it.

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So, as we do every match day, we’re giving you our loves and hates for this week in a segment called Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em.  You should know the drill but if you don’t, we each pick one option from each position, and then, for a bonus, we show you our genius line-ups for the week.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  The best part is, you get two opinions for the price of one.  We do this as a tandem, it’s the Smokey and Ralph show.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em Week 37 Fantasy Premier League.

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Ranking midfielders in game week 37 is as easy as shooting fish in a barrel.  I have to ask what kind of lunatic shoots fish in a barrel number one.  Number two where does one find barrels of fish to begin with?  My guess probably Norway.  Barrels of live fish seem very Norse to me.  I suppose this is all besides the point.  This week it’s all about the double.  How many times can we say that in a 72 hour period?  The point is you need to own at least one Arsenal midfielder this week.  You tell me which one you like the best and I won’t argue.  Unless it’s Theo Walcott then I’m having you committed.  I’m going Aaron Ramsey myself, but Alexis Sanchez, Mesit Özil, or Santi Cazorla are all correct answers.  Ramsey is the choice for my FPL squad if strictly based on cost and flexibility.  Alexis has the probability for the greatest return, but he is also the most cost prohibitive at £11.5.  Santi Caz just hasn’t been the same player at all since the return of both Ramsey and Özil.  But wait Arsenal isn’t the only club with a double week Ralph! Touche over excited reader, but Sunderland middies are a different story altogether.  If I am investing in any Black Cats it’s going to be based around cursing my neighbor.  Can you blame me?  The bastard put up a fence that’s 2 feet into my property line.  I’m totally sending Danny Graham  and Sebastian Larsson to walk under his ladder the next time he cleans his gutters.  That’s enough of that, onto the Fantasy Premier League midfield rankings for game week 37.

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So I sit before you my dozen loyal readers exposed ready to make a proclamation, a coronation of sorts for the rest of the season.  There were two developments this past matchweek that lead me to this soon to be revealed conclusion.  The first is Chelsea winning the league, and therefore calling into question just how much value Eden Hazard has rest of the season.  The second is Alexis Sanchez’s brace against Hull City. These two developments have led me to a singular conclusion, Alexis Sanchez is the top midfielder rest of season.  Let’s break this down and get a little deeper into my train of thought, as long as that’s not too painful.  Here’s what I’m thinking, with Chelsea sealing the title last weekend it’s almost a forgone conclusion that Jose will sit the EPL player of the year in one of the final three matches.  With Alexis in form and facing an upcoming double week in 37 who’s going to bet against the Arsenal attacker providing the greatest return amongst his bros in the midfield position.  Then again he’s known to get dirty when he’s amongst his bros so who knows maybe he shares the wealth.  Serious question would you watch your boy do the deed?  Smokey’s my boy but I’m not watching him shag anyone, even a perfect ten.  Then again Smokey would probably be the one in the closet.

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Over the next few days we’ll take a look team by team at the January transfer needs around the league. We’ll discuss potential targets, some rumors, and mostly my opinion of each club’s shortcomings. We’re going to break this up into four parts, five teams each post, four posts total. Today we look at the first five teams in alphabetical order, this means we’ll cover Arsenal to Crystal Palace. It’s tough to tell if all of these moves will have FPL implications, but it’s important to know the layout of the league and what players could be worth targeting with your wildcard. Unfortunately few major splashes are ever made in January, and of late it’s become more notorious for it’s thumps. If you have updates, news, or rumors to add, post them in the comments and we can discuss.

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