The beloved clean sheet.  Coveted by all, ascertained by so few.  It is an allusive beast that lures you in with great match-ups and decent form and leaves you sobbing after relying on Bournemouth or Stoke.  I wish there was so anger algorithm for how late teams concede and complete take a poop on your fantasy week.  fear not though, last week’s misery is this week’s hope. As we head down the December trail of busy fixtures hunting points and lots of them.  The differentials and good run of fixtures are there for keepers and defense and week 16 is the beginning of some good runs, and unfortunately the end of some others.  So shift your funds around, get some in-form players and head in to the week with confidence knowing that what you have is the best you can do.  This pep talk is over, so here are the week 16 rankings for the FPL for keepers and defense.  Cheers!

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GW 15 Highest Scoring Forwards

Player, Team Goals Assists Bonus Points, Cards, PK, etc  Total Score (Week/Last 3 Weeks/Season)
Firmino, LIV 1 1 3 BP 12/15/67
Calvert-Lewin, EVE 1 1 3 BP 12/19/50
Morata, CHE 1 2 BP 8/11/83
Austin, SOU 1 1 BP 7/21/36
Diouf, STK 1 1 BP 7/9/54
Lacazette, ARS 1 6/13/64
Murray, BHA 1 6/9/44
Gayle, NEW 1 6/8/25
Bony, SWA 1 6/9/17
Rooney, EVE 1 1 CS 5/20/62
Crouch, STK 1 5/8/31
Jesus, MCI 1 1 YC 3/12/74
  • Firmino is a troll.
  • Morata will be returning quite regularly – although maybe not huge hauls – with Hazard looking like he’s rounding into top form.
  • The two forwards already mentioned are the only ones with likeable fixtures from the bunch. I’m probably not playing a third forward for a while and try to get prolific scoring from my midfield and defense.

GW 15 Highest Scoring Midfielders

Player, Team Goals Assists Bonus Points, Cards, PK, CS  Total Score (Week/Last 3 Weeks/Season)
Coutinho, LIV 1 3 2 BP 18/20/63
Hazard, CHE 2 3 BP 15/24/68
Lingard, MUN 2 3 BP 15/27/43
Fraser, BOU 1 3 BP 10/11/19
Sigurdsson, EVE 1 1 BP, 1 CS 9/21/47
David Silva, MCI 1 2 BP 9/11/78
Gray, LEI 1 1 CS 8/10/37
Can, LIV 1 1 BP 8/13/36
Allen, STK 1 3 BP 8/12/36
Shaqiri, STK 1 2 BP, 1 YC 8/19/69
Eriksen, TOT 1 3 BP 8/12/77
Surman, BOU 1 2 BP 7/12/57
Son, TOT 1 7/10/44
Ramsey, ARS 1 1 BP 6/22/79
Mahrez, LEI 1 1 CS 6/17/75
Salah, LIV 1 5/25/113
Martial, MUN 1 5/16/63
Pogba, MUN 2 1 RC 5/13/56
Dembélé, TOT 3 BP 5/8/20
De Bruyne, MCI 1 1 YC 4/19/91
Redmond, SOU 1 4/6/37
Cleverly, WAT 1 4/9/46
  • Sigurdsson has now returned in 4 straight matches, totaling 2 goals and 2 assists for 8/7/5/9 for 29 points after not having a single return through the first 11 weeks.
  • Shaqiri’s last 6 matches: 5/13/5/9/2/8 for a total of 42 points (3 goals and 2 assists).
  • Hazard is flying high again and I’m slightly ina  bind to bring him in with 3 Chelsea assets. If you can get him, do so.
  • “Pogba is the most important attacking player on Manchester United, and while I know Jose Mourinho will need him for every match, you have to think his biggest concern will be to keep him healthy until Champions league enters the knockout stages (these fall between GW 27-28 and GW 29-31. Pogba absolutely has great value while priced at £8.0m, as he remains cheaper than any of the big Man City MFs and will definitely feast against poor defensive teams; just be warned he might not always go the full 90 as Mourinho will very carefully manage his overall fitness.” – myself 2 weeks ago.
    • Well, he’s definitely getting his fitness managed. Out with a 3 game suspension until December 23rd from a redcard from stamping down on Hector Bellerín. Sell and upgrade to Hazard, or maybe speculatively add Jesse Lingard. He’s played 87 and 75 minutes over the last two weeks, the most in back to back matches he’s had all season. Oh, Could be a sneaky play to fill in for Pogba at £5.8m. After they play home to city, ManU are home to Bournemouth and away to West Brom. Great punt.
  • Will Hughes is hurt! Bummer, I’ll only be looking to add him once he’s played a full 90. Doucoré looked dangerous versus Spurs, I’d add him if you need a cheap £5.4m. GW16 Watford faces away to Burnley, followed by Crystal Palace (A), Huddersfield (H), Brighton (A), Leicester (H) and Swansea (H) to end 2017.
  • Eriksen got a return. I’d still sell there and get some Hazard.
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Rankings are fun to do in general.  Add in the flavor of this week’s fixtures and you have yourself some fantasy gumbo.  I get that the City/Chelsea fixture is the premium this week but don’t let that steer you clear of playing top options.  Yes, they will steal value from each other, but that is more from the defensive side of the ball.  It is full bore on the offensive end and that is where we invest our fantasy goodies.  we want goals and i think this slate will have plenty.  The Leicester/Bournemouth match will be fun to watch as both teams are taking on a mini Liverpool defensive minded approach and will have the way with each other.  So if you are waiting to make your transfers now that the UCL is over by all means use my rankings as a guide to FPL futility.  Enjoy the week and good luck.  Cheers!

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So I saw It over the weekend, and while I didn’t even come close to crapping my pants in fear (thanks hangover!), I’m about 99% sure that Harry Kane’s fear of August shares a creepy amount of commonalities with that homicidal crazed clown creature; both of them enjoy floating through open space (Kane on the pitch; the clown in a mind-altering expanse of sewer pipe only Mario would be jealous of), speaking in weird accents (seriously, listen to Harry Kane give an interview sometime), have an affinity for the color white (duh), and lastly, they both enjoy making red balloons go POP! (metaphorically speaking, that would be the hopes/dreams of all Gunner fans everywhere; FFS that’s not a spoiler! he’s a clown, he owns balloons!) Whether or not the fear of August (Augustamphobia?) has an actual effect on Kane’s past performances (it doesn’t), it’s good to see him conquering his “fears” and getting on the board with a brace, a very important and necessary step as he looks to become only the third player in Premier League history to win three consecutive Golden Boots. The other two are Prem Legends Alan Shearer and Thierry Henry, who were 24 and 26, respectively, when they won the first of their three Botas Doradas. Kane just turned 24 this past July and has two under the belt. To paraphrase another mildy entertaining movie, you’re [once again] a wizard, Harryyyy!

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The Prem is here, and we can all now rejoice. Now that the season has kicked off, I will be doing my best to fill your Mondays with sweet, fond memories from the games from over the weekend. I also ask for some patience as I work through how to best provide both a summation and meaningful outlook on the matches.

I was hoping to write about all 20 teams for this post, but it started to become lengthy and I started to get sleepy. So, here are my notes over the weekend on Arsenal to Liverpool (alpha order because why not?)…I will hopefully have Man City to West Ham by tomorrow.

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If this is your first time here, then welcome.  But for those of you that know the gist of this intro, skip down and add your comments.  Every week I run down the weekly match-ups of all the matches on the slate and rank them based on price, ownership, and matches.  I then coagulate those in a high powered juice-maker of FPL proportions and come up with rankings for the week.  Sounds pretty cut and dry, and with this being Week 1, it becomes harder to rank because we only know what we know. And don’t know what we know, besides knowing what we don’t know.  There is no pattern, and it is all speculation.  So this separates the guessers from the experts in some form.  So feel free to critique, give me guff, or just stop on in to pat me on the back.  The season is here, and here starts the first rankings of Week 1.  Cheers!

It’s also not to late to join and compete against me and others in FPL’s season long game,  of course you do its a rhetorical question.  Join the Razzball FPL league  188358-66431 and join me and your fellow Razzballians.

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With time short in both this week and the season, we get right to the meat and potatoes.  Rankings will be fast and furious, as will the fantasy advice.  Two weeks remain in the season and with the double game week this week, it is almost the Mt. Everest of the FPL season.  So my transfer advice will be included in the intro to the rankings this week.  Find a differential if they possibly exist, watch out for possible rotations, and don not bring in anyone with a single game week.  I mean that all sounds simple and well and good from a fan of my writings so heed my advice this week.  Stick to your guns with player favorability, and do not be afraid to take a minus to bring in a DGW player at the expense of a -4.  The rationale behind that is that if a player does nothing but play minute you break even.  So anything they may do, or are expected to do that adds to their point total is money in your bank.  Not really but you get the idea.  So on to the ranks as the games start Friday, and they don’t stop until next Thursday.  Should be fun if you are into the whole soccer/football thing.  Good luck this week.  Cheers!

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The DGW makes rankings seem like a person who has a stutter.  Every third guy is from the same team, and are basically only enticing because of the extra fixture.  This week, that is not the case.  The fixtures are bordering on blah and the options to gain fantasy aptitude are limited.  Yea the Palace players seem interesting and then you realize their opponents.  Then you move onto United and realize that, who do you really trust there?  Then you have Middlesbrough who’s favorite soccer stylings seems to be stuck in neutral.  Not very appealing my friends, like I said.  The best case scenario for the week is to take a minimum hit transfer wise and bring in the usual DGW faces that you hear about all over the inter-webs, and of course use some of that good ole common sense. So good luck with transfer ideas and enjoy some DGW rankings for week 34 of the FPL.  Cheers!

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The conclusion of the third match-week in less than 10 days is always fun for me because it actually allows me to do nothing with my life but rank, write, and then write some more. I do it all for the love people. So the one thing that jumped out to me for this week is that there might be a bit of rotation coming up for a few teams. Most notably Chelsea, and at least for this week, Leicester. Chelsea is basically 2-3 wins away from clinching the league title outright and may just start tinkering with their roster just enough to make it fantasy hell for everyone. So don’t be all surprised when it happens, Uncle Smokey told ya so. The second team is Leicester, who have a more important game in the Champions League coming midweek. Now they seem to be sorta safe from relegation and that tournament is way more important to them right now. Once again, I hope they don’t take Vardy or any useful pieces away, but anything can happen in FPL. Enjoy the Week 32 rankings and comments are always solicited. Cheers!

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