Baby is all grown up.  She is almost ready for the Christmas ball and now that we have our first scheduled DGW, we can see her off to some real down home scheduling dilemmas.  The week that was saw the typical…  City scored late to win.  The bottom feeders kept feeding becoming starving lunatics, and the Teams under City are all starting to distance themselves from the also-rans.  Transferring is a fickle beast.  You can take it out for wine and chocolates but there is no guarantee that it calls you in two days to show you any kind of reward.  We know that we did nothing wrong with our courting process, did our research only to be left staring at our phones with no benefits to show.  We call this the “friendzone” of transfers.  The most popular transfer every week since Week 3 has basically blanked every week except for when the Mo Salah explosion happened.  Or as he is being touted on the auto-correct world of Twitter Mo Salad.  Not every week is supposed to be rosy, these are still athletic competitions that are played by men.  Sorta.  So transferring wisely is great advice, but wait til the last possible moment and use all the tools in the shed to get a finite answer on your transfer-dom.  In case you want some gingerly advice, here are some Week 16 transfer ideas for all y’all.  Cheers!

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GW 15 Highest Scoring Forwards

Player, Team Goals Assists Bonus Points, Cards, PK, etc  Total Score (Week/Last 3 Weeks/Season)
Firmino, LIV 1 1 3 BP 12/15/67
Calvert-Lewin, EVE 1 1 3 BP 12/19/50
Morata, CHE 1 2 BP 8/11/83
Austin, SOU 1 1 BP 7/21/36
Diouf, STK 1 1 BP 7/9/54
Lacazette, ARS 1 6/13/64
Murray, BHA 1 6/9/44
Gayle, NEW 1 6/8/25
Bony, SWA 1 6/9/17
Rooney, EVE 1 1 CS 5/20/62
Crouch, STK 1 5/8/31
Jesus, MCI 1 1 YC 3/12/74
  • Firmino is a troll.
  • Morata will be returning quite regularly – although maybe not huge hauls – with Hazard looking like he’s rounding into top form.
  • The two forwards already mentioned are the only ones with likeable fixtures from the bunch. I’m probably not playing a third forward for a while and try to get prolific scoring from my midfield and defense.

GW 15 Highest Scoring Midfielders

Player, Team Goals Assists Bonus Points, Cards, PK, CS  Total Score (Week/Last 3 Weeks/Season)
Coutinho, LIV 1 3 2 BP 18/20/63
Hazard, CHE 2 3 BP 15/24/68
Lingard, MUN 2 3 BP 15/27/43
Fraser, BOU 1 3 BP 10/11/19
Sigurdsson, EVE 1 1 BP, 1 CS 9/21/47
David Silva, MCI 1 2 BP 9/11/78
Gray, LEI 1 1 CS 8/10/37
Can, LIV 1 1 BP 8/13/36
Allen, STK 1 3 BP 8/12/36
Shaqiri, STK 1 2 BP, 1 YC 8/19/69
Eriksen, TOT 1 3 BP 8/12/77
Surman, BOU 1 2 BP 7/12/57
Son, TOT 1 7/10/44
Ramsey, ARS 1 1 BP 6/22/79
Mahrez, LEI 1 1 CS 6/17/75
Salah, LIV 1 5/25/113
Martial, MUN 1 5/16/63
Pogba, MUN 2 1 RC 5/13/56
Dembélé, TOT 3 BP 5/8/20
De Bruyne, MCI 1 1 YC 4/19/91
Redmond, SOU 1 4/6/37
Cleverly, WAT 1 4/9/46
  • Sigurdsson has now returned in 4 straight matches, totaling 2 goals and 2 assists for 8/7/5/9 for 29 points after not having a single return through the first 11 weeks.
  • Shaqiri’s last 6 matches: 5/13/5/9/2/8 for a total of 42 points (3 goals and 2 assists).
  • Hazard is flying high again and I’m slightly ina  bind to bring him in with 3 Chelsea assets. If you can get him, do so.
  • “Pogba is the most important attacking player on Manchester United, and while I know Jose Mourinho will need him for every match, you have to think his biggest concern will be to keep him healthy until Champions league enters the knockout stages (these fall between GW 27-28 and GW 29-31. Pogba absolutely has great value while priced at £8.0m, as he remains cheaper than any of the big Man City MFs and will definitely feast against poor defensive teams; just be warned he might not always go the full 90 as Mourinho will very carefully manage his overall fitness.” – myself 2 weeks ago.
    • Well, he’s definitely getting his fitness managed. Out with a 3 game suspension until December 23rd from a redcard from stamping down on Hector Bellerín. Sell and upgrade to Hazard, or maybe speculatively add Jesse Lingard. He’s played 87 and 75 minutes over the last two weeks, the most in back to back matches he’s had all season. Oh, Could be a sneaky play to fill in for Pogba at £5.8m. After they play home to city, ManU are home to Bournemouth and away to West Brom. Great punt.
  • Will Hughes is hurt! Bummer, I’ll only be looking to add him once he’s played a full 90. Doucoré looked dangerous versus Spurs, I’d add him if you need a cheap £5.4m. GW16 Watford faces away to Burnley, followed by Crystal Palace (A), Huddersfield (H), Brighton (A), Leicester (H) and Swansea (H) to end 2017.
  • Eriksen got a return. I’d still sell there and get some Hazard.
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We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week’s upcoming and changes from week-to-week.  I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 15 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t.)

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If yesterday was Thanksgiving, then today is Black Friday with all the goodies in store for you. From a fantasy perspective obviously.  The Defenders and Keeper rankings are nice and are the biggest differential to be had in the game.  The midfielders and forwards are def the staple items.  You need to have a City player, you need to have an investment in a certain grouping of strikers. These are just great rules of thumb as it relates to FPL.  I don’t claim to be the shelter from a rain storm, but I do sell some of the best umbrellas.  Ya dig?  With the returns of some key players and the departure of some others from the international break period it is making the front 8 selection process a muddled up beast.  The biggest crunch that I am noticing right now is the move away from the power three forwards to more of a power two and then finding the funds to have coverage from the key players and the under-owned ones…cough…Alexis. So one week at a time my friends and one or maybe two transfers at a time as well.  Good luck this week and here are the rankings for the middies and strikers.  Cheers!

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Now that the Champions League is finished for the week we can jump back on the FPL wagon and take a look at the match-ups that are more pressing in the official game.   Unfortunately rotations are going to be a major factor.  That and the injury to Paul Pogba.  His ownership is too much to look beyond.  My advice for him is this.  If you have owned him from week one then you can bench for the 2 weeks he most likely misses and not lose anything to your accrued team value.  If you only just bought him in the past 2 weeks then you can transfer out and look for some kind of reprieve for fantasy points.  But back to the rotation risks.  All of Chelsea, Spurs, Liverpool, Man City, Man United, Arsenal and Everton are all at risk and the rankings will shy away from a few players that either played full 90’s or that didn’t see the pitch as much.  So be heady and keep your ear to the gossip for who will sit and who will play before making a atransfer this week in a trivial yet pivotal game week 5.  Enjoy the rankings and good luck.  Cheers!

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So I saw It over the weekend, and while I didn’t even come close to crapping my pants in fear (thanks hangover!), I’m about 99% sure that Harry Kane’s fear of August shares a creepy amount of commonalities with that homicidal crazed clown creature; both of them enjoy floating through open space (Kane on the pitch; the clown in a mind-altering expanse of sewer pipe only Mario would be jealous of), speaking in weird accents (seriously, listen to Harry Kane give an interview sometime), have an affinity for the color white (duh), and lastly, they both enjoy making red balloons go POP! (metaphorically speaking, that would be the hopes/dreams of all Gunner fans everywhere; FFS that’s not a spoiler! he’s a clown, he owns balloons!) Whether or not the fear of August (Augustamphobia?) has an actual effect on Kane’s past performances (it doesn’t), it’s good to see him conquering his “fears” and getting on the board with a brace, a very important and necessary step as he looks to become only the third player in Premier League history to win three consecutive Golden Boots. The other two are Prem Legends Alan Shearer and Thierry Henry, who were 24 and 26, respectively, when they won the first of their three Botas Doradas. Kane just turned 24 this past July and has two under the belt. To paraphrase another mildy entertaining movie, you’re [once again] a wizard, Harryyyy!

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Oh, Week 4 you young and burdening beast.  The season has just started and we are already questioning the judgments that we made yet a month ago.  No worries though faithful followers of the Razz.  Each week is almost like a new beginning if you had a wildcard to use at your discretion every week.  The rankings of midfielders and forwards is blossoming into a conundrum right before our very eyes.  We planted it in the summer, watched the transfer window closed and now that the shop is closed this is where we are.  18 more weeks until roster shake-ups again (if any) and the inevitable new wildcard.  So if you haven’t used your first wildcard yet, bene.  You have more restraint then most of the 5 million other players of this game.  So here are the rankings for the midfielders and forwards for week 4, regardless of wildcard.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week’s upcoming and changes from week-to-week.  I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 3 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The second installment of rankings is sometimes the favored.  Because who doesn’t like to score or assist to score.  In almost any format that last sentence holds sway.  But for now let’s just skip the images in your head and talk about the meat and potatoes of the FPL weekly rankings.  These fellas are more reliant on goals, assists and the BPS to drive them over the top.  So with match-ups, form and common sense as the wind to their ranking sail the list is based on just those three things.  So look at the schedule, trust the form and pray that I have some common sense when ranking these players.  Here are the Week 3 rankings for the midfielders and forwards in the FPL. Cheers!

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Anyone with a reading comprehension level above the fifth grade knows what Brexit is.  I am just putting my own Razzball spin on it and building a team based solely from teams not in any European tournaments. For the people that aren’t getting the concept, it is teams not in the Europa or Champions league tournaments.  Fairly simple, just playing on the whole Brexit idea as a gaffe.  So building a team without the top-7 teams this year is quite the horrorfest, as all those teams are fully investable in the standard fantasy team.  With not being able to choose players from Chelsea, Spurs, Man city, Liverpool, Man United, Arsenal and Everton, it takes away arguably the top 60% of fantasy assets.  Do I recommend this as a final draft, sure.  It has it’s benefits and fallbacks.  Benefits being the previous two league winners didn’t participate in either Europe based tournament and both managed to finish in the top-3 defensively the subsequent year.  Those two teams being Leicester and Chelsea, and we all know how good the fantasy assets on those teams were in the years that they won. Negatives?  You don’t get to use a ton of the most-owned, viable fantasy assets from those seven teams. It is going to be fun regardless.  So here is a draft idea for the no Europe based tournament players. I am using price this year, ownership this year, and point return from last year to guide my hand, since I am sans service dog here.  Cheers!

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