Just that real sh*t…

  • I’m El Presidente, I Run Tings: Coutinho, Liverpool – Young Philippe just dropped a hat trick on Spartak Moscow midweek on the heels of his Steve Nash reverse hatty versus Brighton, and threw in a goal for good measure. Side note: Steve Nash is a huuuuge footie fan, and actually looks tall as shit on the soccer pitch! Anyway, Sunday is the Merseyside derby, and while Everton are off two straight clean sheets, they are not going to stand a chance at Anfield. Philippe will wreck havoc on this Everton side that is mess at the back. Oh, and let’s not forget that Coutinho is just turning up so FC Barcelona will fork up whatever it takes to get him come July. Salah’s form has been nothing short of legendary, but Coutinho is feeling it. Meu Filho Phillipinho is the top captain pick for the week.
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The beloved clean sheet.  Coveted by all, ascertained by so few.  It is an allusive beast that lures you in with great match-ups and decent form and leaves you sobbing after relying on Bournemouth or Stoke.  I wish there was so anger algorithm for how late teams concede and complete take a poop on your fantasy week.  fear not though, last week’s misery is this week’s hope. As we head down the December trail of busy fixtures hunting points and lots of them.  The differentials and good run of fixtures are there for keepers and defense and week 16 is the beginning of some good runs, and unfortunately the end of some others.  So shift your funds around, get some in-form players and head in to the week with confidence knowing that what you have is the best you can do.  This pep talk is over, so here are the week 16 rankings for the FPL for keepers and defense.  Cheers!

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Baby is all grown up.  She is almost ready for the Christmas ball and now that we have our first scheduled DGW, we can see her off to some real down home scheduling dilemmas.  The week that was saw the typical…  City scored late to win.  The bottom feeders kept feeding becoming starving lunatics, and the Teams under City are all starting to distance themselves from the also-rans.  Transferring is a fickle beast.  You can take it out for wine and chocolates but there is no guarantee that it calls you in two days to show you any kind of reward.  We know that we did nothing wrong with our courting process, did our research only to be left staring at our phones with no benefits to show.  We call this the “friendzone” of transfers.  The most popular transfer every week since Week 3 has basically blanked every week except for when the Mo Salah explosion happened.  Or as he is being touted on the auto-correct world of Twitter Mo Salad.  Not every week is supposed to be rosy, these are still athletic competitions that are played by men.  Sorta.  So transferring wisely is great advice, but wait til the last possible moment and use all the tools in the shed to get a finite answer on your transfer-dom.  In case you want some gingerly advice, here are some Week 16 transfer ideas for all y’all.  Cheers!

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GW 15 Highest Scoring Forwards

Player, Team Goals Assists Bonus Points, Cards, PK, etc  Total Score (Week/Last 3 Weeks/Season)
Firmino, LIV 1 1 3 BP 12/15/67
Calvert-Lewin, EVE 1 1 3 BP 12/19/50
Morata, CHE 1 2 BP 8/11/83
Austin, SOU 1 1 BP 7/21/36
Diouf, STK 1 1 BP 7/9/54
Lacazette, ARS 1 6/13/64
Murray, BHA 1 6/9/44
Gayle, NEW 1 6/8/25
Bony, SWA 1 6/9/17
Rooney, EVE 1 1 CS 5/20/62
Crouch, STK 1 5/8/31
Jesus, MCI 1 1 YC 3/12/74
  • Firmino is a troll.
  • Morata will be returning quite regularly – although maybe not huge hauls – with Hazard looking like he’s rounding into top form.
  • The two forwards already mentioned are the only ones with likeable fixtures from the bunch. I’m probably not playing a third forward for a while and try to get prolific scoring from my midfield and defense.

GW 15 Highest Scoring Midfielders

Player, Team Goals Assists Bonus Points, Cards, PK, CS  Total Score (Week/Last 3 Weeks/Season)
Coutinho, LIV 1 3 2 BP 18/20/63
Hazard, CHE 2 3 BP 15/24/68
Lingard, MUN 2 3 BP 15/27/43
Fraser, BOU 1 3 BP 10/11/19
Sigurdsson, EVE 1 1 BP, 1 CS 9/21/47
David Silva, MCI 1 2 BP 9/11/78
Gray, LEI 1 1 CS 8/10/37
Can, LIV 1 1 BP 8/13/36
Allen, STK 1 3 BP 8/12/36
Shaqiri, STK 1 2 BP, 1 YC 8/19/69
Eriksen, TOT 1 3 BP 8/12/77
Surman, BOU 1 2 BP 7/12/57
Son, TOT 1 7/10/44
Ramsey, ARS 1 1 BP 6/22/79
Mahrez, LEI 1 1 CS 6/17/75
Salah, LIV 1 5/25/113
Martial, MUN 1 5/16/63
Pogba, MUN 2 1 RC 5/13/56
Dembélé, TOT 3 BP 5/8/20
De Bruyne, MCI 1 1 YC 4/19/91
Redmond, SOU 1 4/6/37
Cleverly, WAT 1 4/9/46
  • Sigurdsson has now returned in 4 straight matches, totaling 2 goals and 2 assists for 8/7/5/9 for 29 points after not having a single return through the first 11 weeks.
  • Shaqiri’s last 6 matches: 5/13/5/9/2/8 for a total of 42 points (3 goals and 2 assists).
  • Hazard is flying high again and I’m slightly ina  bind to bring him in with 3 Chelsea assets. If you can get him, do so.
  • “Pogba is the most important attacking player on Manchester United, and while I know Jose Mourinho will need him for every match, you have to think his biggest concern will be to keep him healthy until Champions league enters the knockout stages (these fall between GW 27-28 and GW 29-31. Pogba absolutely has great value while priced at £8.0m, as he remains cheaper than any of the big Man City MFs and will definitely feast against poor defensive teams; just be warned he might not always go the full 90 as Mourinho will very carefully manage his overall fitness.” – myself 2 weeks ago.
    • Well, he’s definitely getting his fitness managed. Out with a 3 game suspension until December 23rd from a redcard from stamping down on Hector Bellerín. Sell and upgrade to Hazard, or maybe speculatively add Jesse Lingard. He’s played 87 and 75 minutes over the last two weeks, the most in back to back matches he’s had all season. Oh, Could be a sneaky play to fill in for Pogba at £5.8m. After they play home to city, ManU are home to Bournemouth and away to West Brom. Great punt.
  • Will Hughes is hurt! Bummer, I’ll only be looking to add him once he’s played a full 90. Doucoré looked dangerous versus Spurs, I’d add him if you need a cheap £5.4m. GW16 Watford faces away to Burnley, followed by Crystal Palace (A), Huddersfield (H), Brighton (A), Leicester (H) and Swansea (H) to end 2017.
  • Eriksen got a return. I’d still sell there and get some Hazard.
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I wish the FPl scoring system was more like Oprah.  You get a clean sheet!  You get a Clean Sheet! Yes, even you get a clean sheet.  Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way, that just having someone in attendence gets one.  It is done the old fashioned way and it is earned.  the clean sheet guessing game has been blowing up in our faces as of late as teams that look like tidy games have yielded results not so comforting to the point accumulation.  Best advice is don’t gamble.  they have gambling anonymous hotlines to help you in such affairs.  keep it simple gather the best guys at an affordable rate, even the cheapest options to a great defense, and rock out with that.  At worst you need three great/good defenseman.  I recommend having at least four with intrinsic value and then work from there.  take the gamble out of the equation and just follow the buzzards of the FPL universe, but don’t be a complete lemming.  Forge your own path to defensive greatness and look for differentials they are out there.  All you have to do is look.  here are the week 12 FPl rankings for keeps and D.  Cheers!

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When it comes to solidifying your team and using differentials it starts at the back. Just look at the ownership of the United defenders, who are the best defense in the Premier, yet no defender is owned in over 10% of leagues.  Diversity used to be an old, old wooden ship now it is your best friend.  Pick two good match-up based defenders with flair regardless of price and fill in the other three slots spending no more than 14.0m.  That strategy seems to be the best thing I can think of.  Like I said the differentials are there you just have to find the crucial key pieces and go from there.  It’s like doing an actual puzzle, find the border pieces and work your way in.  Simple.  At the ned if the day you will see the big picture.  Week 9 is upon us and it has some UCL rotation risks so be wary of the news later in the week from the managers and always use common sense when bringing and dumping a player.  best of luck and here are the Wweek 9 rakings for keepers and defenders.  Cheers!

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Listen I get that the ole moniker is the key to a good offense is a good defense, but they don’t score the goals.  Or get the ladies.  Keepers and defense are predicated on the clean sheet.  It is a story as old as time and will never get old.  the differentials and variety of starting capabilities are what make defenders, more than goalies the point return parity of the official game.  Their prices dictate who and what we have and it steers us in the direction of affordability over form, and the elusive chase for the ever loving clean sheet.  with the occasional goal or assist.  With the international break finally caput we can get into the goods of fantasy for the next four weeks until the next international break.  Womp, womp.  So onto the here and now here are the week 8 rankings for the FPl.  Cheers!

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Rankings are fun to do in general.  Add in the flavor of this week’s fixtures and you have yourself some fantasy gumbo.  I get that the City/Chelsea fixture is the premium this week but don’t let that steer you clear of playing top options.  Yes, they will steal value from each other, but that is more from the defensive side of the ball.  It is full bore on the offensive end and that is where we invest our fantasy goodies.  we want goals and i think this slate will have plenty.  The Leicester/Bournemouth match will be fun to watch as both teams are taking on a mini Liverpool defensive minded approach and will have the way with each other.  So if you are waiting to make your transfers now that the UCL is over by all means use my rankings as a guide to FPL futility.  Enjoy the week and good luck.  Cheers!

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Now that the Champions League is finished for the week we can jump back on the FPL wagon and take a look at the match-ups that are more pressing in the official game.   Unfortunately rotations are going to be a major factor.  That and the injury to Paul Pogba.  His ownership is too much to look beyond.  My advice for him is this.  If you have owned him from week one then you can bench for the 2 weeks he most likely misses and not lose anything to your accrued team value.  If you only just bought him in the past 2 weeks then you can transfer out and look for some kind of reprieve for fantasy points.  But back to the rotation risks.  All of Chelsea, Spurs, Liverpool, Man City, Man United, Arsenal and Everton are all at risk and the rankings will shy away from a few players that either played full 90’s or that didn’t see the pitch as much.  So be heady and keep your ear to the gossip for who will sit and who will play before making a atransfer this week in a trivial yet pivotal game week 5.  Enjoy the rankings and good luck.  Cheers!

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