Just that real sh*t…

  • I’m El Presidente, I Run Tings: Coutinho, Liverpool – Young Philippe just dropped a hat trick on Spartak Moscow midweek on the heels of his Steve Nash reverse hatty versus Brighton, and threw in a goal for good measure. Side note: Steve Nash is a huuuuge footie fan, and actually looks tall as shit on the soccer pitch! Anyway, Sunday is the Merseyside derby, and while Everton are off two straight clean sheets, they are not going to stand a chance at Anfield. Philippe will wreck havoc on this Everton side that is mess at the back. Oh, and let’s not forget that Coutinho is just turning up so FC Barcelona will fork up whatever it takes to get him come July. Salah’s form has been nothing short of legendary, but Coutinho is feeling it. Meu Filho Phillipinho is the top captain pick for the week.
  • Please, blog, may I have some more?

Another week, another Champions league conundrum weighing over our ranking/transfer heads.  Have no fear though, as this is the end of UCL for a few weeks so we can now get down to brass tacks.  The FPL money is made with getting the right captain right, and getting lucky with your front 6,7, or even 8.  We all can’t be lucky every week that all our players strike gold and find the net, but it would be nice and fantastic if they did.  The December slate is a tough one to gauge for some middling teams and we can start to see what fixtures are ripe for the picking as we set up for the first DGW in Week 22.  Stay in the here and now though and use those transfers wisely, taking a -4 isn’t the end of the world if it is a move for a differential.  Don’t chase points on the most transferred in guys…stay the course basically.  To help you with your course here are the week 16 FPL rankings for Forwards and Midfielders.  Cheers!

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What just happened?  Did I get on some weird mystery machine that went back in time to when useless goals were all the rage?  What’s next, Sam Allardyce will be back managing a scuppering club too I bet…. oh wait.  So Week 14 came and went and the prominent highlights were people we don’t own and rotations that only lasted 70 minutes. Chelsea, Liverpool, and to some degree, Man City pulled the ookey-dokey on us this week in the rushed schedule which saw Mo Salah, Eden hazard, and basically prove that Pep is a liar with not wanting to play Aguero/Jesus together all happen. I usually err on the side of caution when it comes to transfers and bringing people in with rotation risks, but the first two names I mentioned are the easy solution.  The City thing is fairly visible that it will be sane to come in for one of Aguero or Jesus.   Other than that, I am on tilt with the returns of some teams, Arsenal scored 5 versus a down-trodden Terrier squad and the rest of the EPL basically is what we think they are.  I am skimming not wanting to get into a long diatribe about every team in the Premier as it relates to fantasy all in the warm up, you gotta stick around til after the bump for some transfer ideas.  If I put out on the first date what kind of expert would I be.  A bad slutty one!  So now that the wooing process is over stick around for some transfer goodies for the FPL Week 15.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As much as some fantasy premier league managers complain about how the game has changed season to season, one truth has remained steadfast: the right captain pick will one hundred percent make or break your gameweek score. My own personal record of picking correctly has been pretty piss-poor in 2017, but I keep reminding myself that you have to play the best choice with the information at hand and not beat yourself up too much for getting it wrong. I’m hoping to improve and see green arrows again, and if not, then I will ask for support from this week’s theme and everyone’s favorite household object, whiskey! Best of luck!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You heard it right sports fans.  No more international nonsense type stuff until Week 31.  Which if you have a calendar handy, isn’t until the middle of March.  Hooray for concentrating on the here and now for the FPL and the foreseeable future.  Also, on the funnier side of scheduling is that the first 11 game weeks took 87 days to complete, the next 11 will be done in a mere 47 days.  It is going to become a rush delivery, fantasy style.  The funny thing about the days is that regardless of 87 or 47, we still don’t have any clear staple team.  One that has so many intrical parts that we have to invest in to keep up with the so called Jonses’ of the FPL universe.  Questions still remain on the right in form triple of strikers, who and how many Spurs, Liverpool, or City midfielders we should roster and defensively where the differentials are grander, we maybe have one possibly two all-day, everyday options.  So the next 10-11 weeks that take us to the New Year’s day games will be a competitive balance of luck and skill.  So here are some post Int’l break transfer ideas based on the transfer ideas going down in the FPL universe, plus some common sense or totally nonsensical ones too.  Cheers!

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We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week’s upcoming and changes from week-to-week.  I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 11 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t.)

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In now over a decade of competing a ton of different fantasy sports, the dubious task of ranking a bunch of dudes chasing after a ball/puck for the sheer shake of scoring points has never rested on my shoulders. This week, I’m gonna try my best to step up and tell you which players are gonna shit on the competition and give you the big returns that fuel your green arrows of eternal joy. This is not about value, but who will get you points this gameweek. I seriously have no idea how this is done, but I’ll be using a mixture of form, fixtures and gut feel – for the record, I have a case of the bubbleguts right now as I write this, so that’s probably the X factor in all of this. TMI? Nah, just tryna be transparent, yo!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Of all the holidays, or made up holidays is there a better one than Halloween?  Doubtful, unless you are a sap and love that St. Valentines nonsense.  Dress up, act a fool, go door to door for sugar and then consume in mass quantities.  Nothing explains childhood like the eery days of trick or treating.  much like the candy pitching holiday the FPl is like a trick or treat scenario.  We all dress up like we know what we are doing.  Get let down by EPL managers with rotation or injuries, and then cry in our own bowls of candy for the unfruitful returns that happen.  So if you are looking for ample returns and have the mediocre budget and don’t own Pascal Gross then he is your huckleberry this week.  I admit I was a little bit leery two weeks ago with Brighton giving such dismal returns on the offensive side of the pitch.  But with him basically being involved in 75% of the teams tallies he has got to be getting the gold star for the best fantasy asset from a promoted squad to date.  With his returns in the top 6 of the FPL midfielders and priced 2.4 less than his next guy that is in that group.  he for me has gone from questionable to unquestioned.  The discount alone is worth the lonesome fantasy returns that the Seagulls can give.  At worst he is from week to week a rotation with your third striker of fourth defender, at the most he is your 3rd midfielder with flair and sass.  Either way it is a win/win and his ownership needs to spike from it’s current 16.6%, so grab early and often, and don’t forget to check your candy for razors or “edibles”.  Happy transferring in whatever sugary or psychedelic state you may be in.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If yesterday was Thanksgiving, then today is Black Friday with all the goodies in store for you. From a fantasy perspective obviously.  The Defenders and Keeper rankings are nice and are the biggest differential to be had in the game.  The midfielders and forwards are def the staple items.  You need to have a City player, you need to have an investment in a certain grouping of strikers. These are just great rules of thumb as it relates to FPL.  I don’t claim to be the shelter from a rain storm, but I do sell some of the best umbrellas.  Ya dig?  With the returns of some key players and the departure of some others from the international break period it is making the front 8 selection process a muddled up beast.  The biggest crunch that I am noticing right now is the move away from the power three forwards to more of a power two and then finding the funds to have coverage from the key players and the under-owned ones…cough…Alexis. So one week at a time my friends and one or maybe two transfers at a time as well.  Good luck this week and here are the rankings for the middies and strikers.  Cheers!

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Away: Bournemouth (1) – Home: Niasse (2)

Oumar Niasse doubled the Toffees goal total on the season with his 35 minutes of heroics, saving Everton from embarrissing defeat to Bournemouth. Niasse bagged his brace after coming in as a sub for the battered and bloodied Wayne Rooney, scoring his first goal with 13 minutes to go in the 2nd half. The game winner was the ultimate scrappy goal, as he corralled his own blocked header from 6 yards out and buried it home past Begovic. His efforts gave Everton their first two goals in the Premier League since August 21st, when their other top goal scorer on the season, Wayne Rooney, scored his 2nd on the season and remains on 2 in now 497 minutes.

While it would be something special for a magical 5.0m forward to emerge like a phoenix from the ruins that Lukaku left bare at Goodison Park, especially in a season currently defined by the plethora of marquee, expensive forward options, there is nothing here to make me truly believe we are witnessing the first roots of fantasy glory. Nobody knows, nay, not even Niasse, if he is suddenly going to supplant Wayne Rooney or Calvert-Lewin up top in the Toffee’s attack. What I do know, however, is that performances like his on Saturday are what make the Premier League worth watching. This is a player that Ronald Koeman (clearly not a football savant) had played a grand total of 0 matches prior to the weekend’s game. Rather than play a single minute during the first half of last season – playing time is slim pickings behind Lukaku – he was loaned last January to Hull City, where in 19 appearances and 1213 minutes under Marco Silva (definitely possibly a football savant), he scored 5 goals and made 1 assist, averaging just over 60 minutes a match. Koeman has never wanted to play him, but was forced to put him on for a clearly tired, ailing, aging and ineffective Rooney in a match that Everton did not really deserve to win.

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