Well hello there footie fans.  Lots of juicy-juicy match-ups this week for the defense of the goal front.  Lots of teams playing favorable fixtures at foes that can’t defend their home pitch or literally get off the bus on travel with a loss already.   This week you will notice a lot of the more familiar fantasy stalwarts at the top of my rankings.  They are there because just look at their matches…. all of them are in their favor, which for you, me, and the man down the street, are a good thing.  So if you have the transfer free from the whole Kun fallout, then by all means, upgrade to the guys praying for the clean sheet.  We present to you the Week 16 Defender Rankings… enjoy.

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After two match weeks worth of lists we’re back with our full fledged rankings. Be honest, you missed these. You missed them like the deserts miss the rain, or the way club kids of the early 90’s hear that song and miss their youth. Remember ecstasy isn’t just a drug, it’s a feeling. But that’s all besides the point. So what is the point? Well, the point is the rankings are back and we’re kicking them off with the backbone of the starting 11, the keeper. I could sit here and type 100 words about why keepers are important and all types of boring stuff but instead I’ll just say this, CLEAN SHEETS RULE EVERYTHING AROUND ME. SCREAM get the money, Leicester – Sunderland Y’all?

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Like every other week, we focus on the transfer targets for every week.  The unfortunate thing this is like panda watch with the news of Sergio Aguero being sidelined for at least a month.  This news has people doing one of two things: They are either scrambling to fill their roster with the next man up on the forward roster tree,  or they are walking around with £12m burning a hole in their pocket and looking for the best way to maximize their roster moving forward.  Well regardless of which category you are in, all is well, there are plenty of guys to get you through the next month.  So breath keep reading and follow the advice that we give you.  We are basically the Jim Jones of fantasy soccer, without all the drink the punch kinda stuff.  Enjoy the Week 16 transfer ideas.

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So instead of the whole rigmarole of writing about every single game and having us look at the same fantasy relevant players every week, we are doing something new. It’s so new, I couldn’t even think of a great name, so if you have something better please say so.  We all can watch the games and see who does what, but at the end of the day, from a fantasy perspective, all that matters is the point total  next to their name.  Well, in soccer, like every other sport, there are unspoken subtleties that make up a good roster.  So I am featuring the best starting XI.  It will be my opinion, and to make it fun and hard, I will be using a £70m cap and using a standard 4-4-2 .  So from my standpoint, it’s fun and adventurous to make up a new roster from the week-to-week shining stars.  So have a look at my own featured XI…

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Two minutes, that’s how long it took Sergio Agüero to injure his knee and exit the game. Depending upon the severity of the injury it might be 2 minutes that drastically changes the look of hundreds of thousands of FPL lineups. The early reports are that it’s a sprain of his left knee and that he’s anticipated to be out for up to 7 weeks. This obviously leaves the Citizens, as well as Kun’s fantasy owners, scrambling for a replacement. Lucky for you there’s options and lots of’em. We’ll focus on a few of those in a moment, but first let’s discuss City’s attack.

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In the remaining Premier League contests of Matchweek 15 we see a matchup of two teams just on the cusp of the top four in Sunday’s early game, between West Ham and Swansea. Followed by the game of the week in Aston Villa vs Leicester. If Villans v Foxes doesn’t get you going you’re either dead, a eunuch, or maybe Canadian. It’s one of those I can’t decide….but in all truthiness, that game sucks. To close out the week we have a prime matchup Monday evening between the third and fourth place teams in the table. With a win at St. Mary’s, United could potentially leap frog the Saints in the standings and make their assault on the top two. After a brief fitness scare earlier in the week it looks as though Wayne Rooney will indeed be in the lineup and ready to go for United. He’s always found the Saints a friendly matchup having netted five times in five premier league starts against them. –  Players I’m watching in this one: Too many to name, really, both squads are full of FPL lineup regulars. There are two players I’m most keenly interested in though Robin Van Persie, mostly because I may need to dump Sergio Agüero depending upon the severity of his injury, and the dutch striker could be the perfect fill-in. The other player with my interest is Graziano Pellè, I need to see if he’s more than a couple of fancy goals and a nice haircut. It takes more than that to make your way into my heart bud. If he can prove he’s the real deal Holyfield, unlike his chump teammate Dusan Tadic, he may be in the mix for a few teams doing forward reconstruction, in the wake of the Charlie Austin red card debacle and the Agüero injury saga. It was a dramatic Saturday for me, I’m glad it’s over…The Saints gave up a late one midweek vs Arsenal, but seemed to rebound overall from their  rough showing at the Etihad. It should be interesting to see how they look against a red hot United team, albeit one sans Angel Di María. I, like many FPL owners am heavily invested in Southampton defenders, Nathaniel Clyne in particular, and I’m very interested in seeing how he looks heading into the January Free transfer period. The theme over the next month plus for Southampton is to prove they belong in the discussion of the top four. A win at home over one of England’s giants would be a great way to kick off the campaign.

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So, as we do every match day, we’re giving you our loves and hates for this week in a segment called Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em.  You should know the drill but if you don’t, we each pick one option from each position, and then, for a bonus, we show you our genius line-ups for the week.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  The best part is, you get two opinions for the price of one.  We do this as a tandem, it’s the Smokey and Ralph show.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So, Week 15 has a slew of intriguing games and some lopsided affairs as well. Fear not though, as there are no lopsided matches in Fantasy EPL. Well, there is if you don’t have the foggiest idea of what you are doing, or just don’t listen to us. So have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value.

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Welcome back to our little Saturday morning EPL shindig, otherwise known as the Matchday Previews. We have an unbelievable slate of games today, with six out of the top ten in action. The two most exciting fixtures look to be in the early and the late games, sandwiching five mediocre, mid-day contests. The two aforementioned contests I’m most interested in as an FPL manager are, Newcastle .vs Chelsea, and Manchester City .vs Everton. They both feature teams with at least a few ownable players in each squad, and several of the superstars of the game. They both have the potential to be actual entertaining matches.

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No matter what anybody tells you, winning in weekly fantasy soccer, is all about buying the right third striker as your flex, and nailing it. Sure you could use an attacking fullback or a good midfielder, but no one offers the sort of home run potential you get with a third striker. For example, in the Wednesday contests on DraftKings everybody and I mean absolutely everybody owned Sergio Agüero and Didier Drogba. Agüero was owned by 60% of managers, Drogba was owned by 40%, and after big days from each, one or some combination of the two were essential to any winning squad.

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After 3 Matchweeks in the course of nine days we’ve truncated the rankings into these short easy to read versions. I like using the term “easy to read” because it takes a positive spin on “we’re too lazy to write full rankings so you’re getting these sucka!” I mean seriously do you care what we think, in depth, about the 11th ranked keeper for the week? Which is why going forward most of my content will consist of fart jokes and bad puns…Terrible puns. Only one hurdle on that one, I’m not sure what the Exec’s out on the West Coast would think so I’ll stick to Soccer/Football/Futbol/AHHHHHHH. The last one is what my Wife’s Uncle says when anyone talks about soccer/football/futbol/ahhhhhhh. Don’t worry we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming next week with the full rankings. So until then, I bid you adieu.

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