Our first Double Gameweek of the season promised big scoring from both Hammers and Spurs, but managers were rewarded by 3 goals each by both clubs. That’s a goal and a half a match, hardly enough to validate any big roster shakeups that occured by many managers.

Beyond the ultimate lack in offensive output, December Darling Harry Kane fell ill to sickness and played in a limited capacity as a sub., failing to score versus Hammers. For a shit ton of owners that triple captained Kane (yours truly included) and were frusted by a single digit “haul.” It sucks, but it doesn’t end your season. Guess what does make or break the second half of your season? Picking healthy players with good upcoming fixture stretches, while also taking into consideration the changing dynamics of starting XI’s as more players are transferred in and out throughout January. Captaincy choices remain the biggest way to increase your single season rank, but don’t let it cloud your transfer process.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week’s upcoming and changes from week-to-week.  I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 21 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t.)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Smokey is sick from all of the extra el-bees he packed on over the holidays, or maybe he’s just sick from the very spirit of Christmas itself. Regardless, I’m taking a stab at the transfer biznass, or so they say.

Before all else, happy everything! Hope you celebrated with as much football as I did, and if you didn’t then shame on you and may the January transfer window epically smash your fantasy prem team to bits and pieces. We had some high scoring matches  featuring 28 total goals in 9 matches – with just one from Manchester City! – and we still have Arsenal v Crystal Palace to go as of Thursday morning. That’s an awful lot with the league leading attack only netting 1.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Cuz picking captains is definitely a form of a degenerative and debilitating gambling addiction!

Black Jack: If we don’t hit black jack, then at the very least I’m going to double down on Raheem Sterling’s last week’s performance. He’s in form, he didn’t play midweek, and Man Shitty face Bournemouth at home recovering from a midweek match. I’d take a stab at you getting a big pay out by captaining Mistah Rahz this week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week’s upcoming and changes from week-to-week.  I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 19 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t.)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rankings are the gift that either keeps on giving or ones that you quickly wanna re-gift.  Either way, I am giving you them with a fake smile on my face.  So you take that as a ehh, or a ehhhh.  Either way, I am content.  Week 19 attacking players got a bit of a shock as Morata got accumulation suspension in the Cup game and will miss.  This basically sends a ripple effect throughout all the rankings.  So if you are in the mood for those type of things keep reading and get to them.  Or you can stay here and listen to me wax poetic about almost nothing, as I have the innate ability to just lull you to sleep with nothing.  Screw that skip ahead, enjoy the rankings.  Happy Holidays to all and good luck this week.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Fixture Rank for Next 6 (GW19-24)

Rank Team Opponents
1 Chelsea Everton (A), Brighton (H), Stoke (H),                  Arsenal (A), Leicester (H), Brighton (A)
2 Man City Bournemouth (H), Newcastle (A), Crystal Palace (A), Watford (A), Liverpool (A), Newcastle (H)
3 Watford Brighton (A), Leicester (H), Swansea (H),                Man City (A), Southampton (H), Leicester (A)
4 Huddersfield Southampton (A), Stoke (H), Burnley (H), Leicester (A), West Ham (H), Stoke (A)
5 Man Utd Leiceseter (A), Burnley (H),  Southampton (H),  Everton (A), Stoke (H), Burnley (A)
6 West Brom Stoke (A), Everton (H), Arsenal (H),                      West Ham (A), Brighton (H), Everton (A)
7 Liverpool Arsenal (A), Swansea (H), Leicester (H),            Burnley (A), Man City (H), Swansea (A)
8 Arsenal Liverpool (H), Crystal Palace (A), West Brom (A), Chelsea (H), Bournemouth (A), Crystal Palace (H)
9 West Ham Newcastle (H), Bournemouth (A), Blank, West Brom (H), Spurs (A), Huddersfield (A), Bournemouth (H)
10 Brighton Watford (H), Chelsea (A), Newcastle (A),  Bournemouth (A), West Brom (A), Chelsea (H)
11 Bournemouth Man City (A), West Ham (H), Everton (H),          Brighton (A), Arsenal (H), West Ham (A)
12 Stoke West Brom (H), Huddersfield (A), Chelsea (A), Newcastle (H), Man Utd (A), Huddersfield (H)
13 Swansea Crystal Palace (H), Liverpool (A), Watford (A),      Spurs (H), Newcastle (A), Liverpool (H)
14 Spurs Burnley (A), Southampton (H), Blank, Swansea (A), West Ham (H), Everton (H), Southampton (A)
15 Everton Chelsea (H), West Brom (A), Bournemouth (A),      Man Utd (H), Spurs (A), West Brom (H)
16 Newcastle West Ham (A), Man City (H), Brighton (H),            Stoke (A), Swansea (H), Man City (A)
17 Crystal Palace Swansea (A), Arsenal (H), Man City (H),    Southampton (A), Burnley (H), Arsenal (A)
18 Southampton Huddersfield (H), Spurs (A), Man Utd (A),            Crystal Palace (H), Watford (A), Spurs (H)
19 Leicester Man Utd (H), Watford (A), Liverpool (A),      Huddersfield (H), Chelsea (A), Watford (H)
20 Burnley Spurs (H), Man Utd (A), Huddersfield (A),        Liverpool (H), Crystal Palace (A), Man Utd (H)
Please, blog, may I have some more?

Everyone knows that ole diddy. It’s the one with the fish wandering the desert looking for a prom date.  Really sentimental stuff around this time of the year… marked with giving and mostly receiving.  So week 18 cam and went and it made us question every single entity that exists with our current teams, especially the forward ranks and ownership.  The complaint department for Harry Kane, Alvaro Morata, the ambiguously City Duo and Romey were at an all time high, and then Lukaku had to score and make everyone look stupid.  Typical show-off. Shows up 15 minutes late, doesn’t pay for gas and than scores when everyone had given up hope on him being consistent.  Liverpool put on a show and the City midfield are where all the cool kids hang out right now.  And if they don’t, than they should be looking that way.  Three pool, three City attack, two french hookers and a defender from Chelsea. Have no fear week 19 in the FPL is here.  For the curious at heart and can’t wait to unwrap their presents before the Liverpool vs. Arsenal matchup on friday here are some transfer ideas and musings as I sing toons of the old country.  Good luck with the transfers and may your FPL return be bountiful. Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

X gonna give the GW 18 picks to ya, comon!!! WHAT!?

Top Dog: Lacazette, ARS – Pretty apparent that the week after Arsenal goes goalless versus a “reinvigorated” Hammers squad is an all too perfect a moment to drive Gooner fans mad. I forsee prolific offensive output from their £50m striker, as Waka Laca Flame played 8 minutes midweek, and Wenger will realize what a wanker he is after he plays a full 90 and bags a brace.

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