Cuz picking captains is definitely a form of a degenerative and debilitating gambling addiction!

Black Jack: If we don’t hit black jack, then at the very least I’m going to double down on Raheem Sterling’s last week’s performance. He’s in form, he didn’t play midweek, and Man Shitty face Bournemouth at home recovering from a midweek match. I’d take a stab at you getting a big pay out by captaining Mistah Rahz this week.

Craps: A good shout is always the best attacking option on a team pitted against the Swans. They just let go of Paul Clement, and while you can try to persuade me they’ll be a bounce, I don’t see it coming a few days after his sacking. Enter big Wilf. Palace haven’t lost a league match since GW 11 to Spurs, and I don’t expect them to stop their current form. I love Zaha as a one week captain punt if you don’t have a Sterling, KDB or Salah to captain. After this week, look to pivot off of him, as the fixtures look ugly.

Roulette: Charlie Austin has been great in his most recent matches, and has an easy opponent in Huddersfield at home. He’s had matches in the past where he’s easily exploded for 2 or 3 goals, and this could very well be one of them. Chuck scored a hat trick vs West Brom back in 2014 with QPR, and Huddersfield have given up plenty of goals on the season. If you got ’em and you’re feeling lucky, put all your money on Red 10.

Also, the bet with Smokey is real. Andre Gray is transferred in, activated and starting in my squad, and will combine powers with his pop star girlfriend to create oodles of FPL points straight into the new year, while obviously besting Okaka.