We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week’s upcoming and changes from week-to-week.  I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 34 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t.)

 

Defense:

StartWes Morgan, Leicester – Differentials abound people.  The third most owned anything is the most coveted fruit on Leicester this week.  Two weeks ago was the defensive team we wanted, last week was a facade of fallacies.  Fake Foxes be gone the double week demands it.

SitMarcos Alonso, Chelsea – There comes a time when senility realizes  that it all makes sense like a Keanu movie by a lake.  Look at the point returns over last 7 games.  Now look at the previous 7.  It’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. non-defensive returns.  Price screams iclusion, but returns say leave him alone.

Contrarian PlayAntonio Rudiger, Chelsea – Regardless of the Blue’s outcomes lately the differential is there to strike.  The Christenesen love has come and gone after he basically stiffed us for the fantasy prom.  Two good winnable fixtures is bette than one even at minimal returns.

Midfielders:

Start Christian Erikesn, Spurs – If a tempiuos beast exist to punt off of Salah it is Salah.  The double screams inclusion. The 4 goals and 4 assists vs City in the last 12 fixtures screams pick me desperation.  If you are worried about the first game re-read what I just typed.

Sit – Mesut Ozil, Arsenal – More here to prove a point of one gameness versus two.  You shouldn’t be relying on one gamesmanship in week 34.  It took you 34 weeks to get to smartness.  Don’t fall for the banana in the single game tailpipe.

Punt playJohann Gudmundsson, Burnley – Risking it all on injury risks are the stuff of legends.  Jordon ibe fall into the same patern here.  The world is scared of bringing him, you probably own him.  Roll with it, what do you have to lose.

 

Forwards:

StartAlvaro Morata, Chelsea – Quick name the other 4 forwards that you would own over Morata this week on a double.   I will stop you right there and call you a liar for not including him.  Two starts and a goal and a helper to boot.  Screams triple captain differential.

SitP-E Aubameyang, Arsenal – The Gunners can’t be F’d with this week.  Wu-Tang on the other hand can’t be.

Lucky StrikeJosh King, Bournemouth –  At some point it is shit or get off the pot for the english slah Norwegian striker.  Relying on last years laurels is so 2016.  Harry Kane just called and said that he claimed 2016 as his own year so theres that.