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Ever upward…  That’s the state motto of New York.  (Although it’s done in Latin, and I’m only fluent in Sanskrit.)  The forward position is the sexiest, highest scoring, most captained position in fantasy EPL.  That’s why they are so expensively sexy.  This isn’t where you lose it, but it sure doesn’t help when you don’t have the right combo in the for the fixtures that week.  Have no fear, Ralph and Smokey are here.  We break down every position for the week, and give you the dynamite insight of why we do what we do.  We use the theory of fantasyitivity… it factors in value, match-up, and a good ole educated guess.  It sure seems to work with the ladies, as they are all flocking to Razzball Soccer site thinking this was a dating site.  Seriously, we have eclipsed all the other fantasy sites combined already, and only been live a week.  So if you’re a fella, looking for a lass, let Razzball be your eHarmony of fantasy.  Oh, by the way, by girls, I mean big husky guys.  Still interested in staying around?  Good, read about our Week 9 best forward options in EPL…


1. Sergio Agüero, Manchester City: £12.4 – You know that song from Karate Kid…”You’re the best around, nothings gonna ever keep you down”?  Well, he’s it right now. No if’s, and’s, or Argentinian butts.  Coming off 4 goals, and if you had him as captain, yikes.  Over 7 points in last 3 matches, and the City are mad after a bad Champions league result.  Look out Hammers.

2. Graziano Pellè, Southampton: £8.1 – Playing well for club and country.  Prolly would have had a third if he wasn’t removed early in last week’s game vs. Sunderland. Is under performing his value by a little based on a slow start, but I love the Saints this week

3. Diego Costa, Chelsea: £12.4 – Will he or won’t he is the reasoning for the third ranking.  If he didn’t have two games off in a row, I would say he’d be lower.  The match-up is elite, and stars come out for the big ones.  Think Emmy’s, Oscar’s, the AVN’s.  You get the point.  Mourhino is going to wanna bury any skepticism about Chelsea beating top flight teams… cough-cough by name only.

4. Saido Berahino, West Brom: £5.7 – The top-valued Forward in all of fantasy EPL.  He is netting you a plus 2.2 in value right now over his £5.7.  He is a dribbling machine, but is the focal point in the Baggies underrated attack.  Buy now, thank me later.  He is the perfect third option behind Costa, Rooney, or Aguero.

5. Diafra Sakho, West Ham: £5.6 – The first valued guy this season, followed by the second, returning £1.7 above his current price.  Me likey that stuff, put some glaze and maybe some cockney swear words after it, and we can call it a picnic.  Five points or more in last five, 35 total.  City is weak, and I said that loud enough so they could here me!

6. Romelu Lukaku, Everton: £9.0 – Love the Toffees this week, and you should to.  They are getting healthy, and just look at their next four matches. Go, I’ll wait…  Back yet? I’d invest in them three at a time because rules are rules, and that’s all you’re allowed.  Watch his usage in the Europa game, because his name could be switched with Naismith and the value makes it cool.

7. Danny Welbeck, Arsenal: £7.3 – The fixture with Sunderland makes him look like a shiny new nickel.  Too bad his game is as rusty as a penny, and that’s about what value you’ll get from him.  His only saving grace is that he’s it up front right now, as the Gunners are riddled with injuries. I see a goal, but you have to see Danny Welbeck on your starting XI.  Seems like a push.

8. Leonardo Ulloa, Leicester: £5.9 – I am all about the value when it comes to your third striker.  Ulloa has been the Diff’rent Strokes of Fanatsy EPL.  You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and there, you have you third forward.  Leicester has a tough road game vs the Swans, who have only given up 3 goals at Liberty.

9. Papiss Cissé, Newcastle: £5.9 – Who likes Madonna… rather, who doesn’t? Papiss Cissé, I’m in trouble deep, Papiss Cissé, I’ve been losing sleep.  Newcastle is bad, but someone has to get them goals, baby. Yeah, that my friends is called versatility and welcome to Razzball.

10. Radamel Falcao, Manchester United: £10.9 – Big signing, big game.  Has really been lying in the weeds and I am trying to figure out what Van Gaal is doing.  Louie is slowly becoming the Mom in Wedding Crashers and Devil fans are thinking when Falcao, the meatloaf, is and when he will be fantasy dynamite.  Over-priced and hasn’t seen a full 90 yet, buyer beware.

11. Frazier Campbell, Crystal Palace: £5.2 -CP is bleh. But value is value.  At this point in the rankings, you are looking for someone to bulge the ole onion bag and give you a few points.  Come on Frazier, do it for Niles!

Subs Eduardo Vargas, QPR: £6.4, Mario Balotelli, Liverpool: £9.7, Wilfried Bony, Swansea: £8.2.

  1. serch says:

    Hey Smoke! I’m an EPL newbie, having decided to follow it this season after enjoying the World Cup so much this past summer. I’m not up for an EPL fantasy team but I am loving the read. Keep up the good work!
    One small suggestion on the rankings though. Since they are so heavily dependent upon the opposition maybe it should be stated more clearly who the opponent is. Sometimes its clear from the blurb, sometimes its a bit of a riddle (for me) in the blurb and sometimes its not stated at all…maybe list the opponent after the value is given ( e.g., Danny Welbeck, Arsenal: £7.3 @ Sunderland)?
    Anyway good luck and I’ll be reading all season!

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:

      @serch: I guess I can do that for just you. Shouldnt be that big of a deal. Thanks for the read.

      • Jesmond Tutu says:

        @Smokey: If you want to identify fixtures easily and concisely, most sites go for the abbreviations that use and have them in CAPS for home and all lower case for away. Eg:

        “I’m bringing in Eriksen, as his next four fixtures (NEW, avl, STO, hul) should see some good returns”.

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