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So the biggest question I keep hearing is predominantly about one thing, and one thing only…and I will finally answer it now. Yes, they are bugle boy jeans and they are most certainly comfortable. I wish that was the question, but the epicenter of the forward situation revolves around Sergio Aguero. I mean he is, when healthy, the best up front option in the Premier. The one problem is his health and how much burn he is going to get this week versus Arsenal. I see it this way, his price is a determinant for me to add him personally right now. If you have the loot to spare then don’t listen to me and wait it out. Or you can just wait it out until next week, use your free wild card transfer and completely rebuild your roster into a down the stretch contender.  I see Aguero playing this week, but he isn’t going 90 in no way shape or form. So roster pre-cautiously and have at least two other decent options up front. So now that we know about Kun, let’s see where the other forwards rank this week. Cheers!


1. Diego Costa, Chelsea £11.2 (@Swansea) – I don’t think he scores in this game, I think he scores twice.  You were all like why is he ranked first then.  Diversion is a magician’s best friend, rabbits don’t count because they hump around.

2. Harry Kane, Spurs £5.8 (vs. Sunderland) – I wish I was a Spurs fan because I love the “Harry Kane he’s one of our own” chants.  Gives me chills, like the first time I watched the Muppet show and realized they were puppets and not real animals.

3. Charlie Austin, QPR £6.5 (vs. Man United) – The home numbers are glaring, as is United’s sloppy lack of talent on the defense.  All he needs is a poor challenge in the box and he is an automatic top 5 play every week based on his PK prowess.

4. Saido Berahino, West Brom £5.5 (@Everton) – I think he keeps up the hot streak on his way to another stadium.  He is building his value game by game and other clubs hate it.  If you play three up top he is the cheap one you are rolling with besides Abel’s brother and Jimmy Coast.

5. Danny Ings, Burnley £5.7 (vs. Crystal Palace) – Love Ings in this match, everyone else on Burnley not so much.  I think this game end with 5 total goals.  That’s not that bold it’s 2 and a half per team, I mean how many times has a team scored half a goal.

6. Sergio Aguero, Man City £12.4 (vs. Arsenal) – I do think he plays. Big game, big player the problem is how effective will he be coming back from injury. and I do not think he plays a full 90.  Next week different story as he has 11 days to get ready.

7. Graziano Pelle, Southampton £7.9 (@Newcastle) – If I trusted we were getting the Grazi from 8 weeks ago he would be higher, but to me he looks very run off and slack-a-dasical.  At least he stays on his feet like the other Italian diving team members.

8. Andy Carroll, West Ham £6.9 (vs. Hull) – I mean someone has to score for the Hammers.  Right? Why not the Pony-tailed boy wonder who likes to hit things with his head.  Hull’s just bad, bad bad, and three bads is worse then two, I looked it up.

9. Wayne Rooney, Man United £10.8 (@QPR) – I don’t even think Falcao sniffs the pitch this week, but LvG has showed us that he is quirky to the max.  With the possibility of James Wilson being the top man and no RvP in this game it could be dare I say Wayne’s World.

10. James Naismith, Everton £4.8 (vs. West Brom) – I don’t care that he missed a PK mid week in the FA cup.  So did like 4 other people including a goalie.  Cheap third option to keep on the bench as that sub you may need after a roster of Costa and Kane.

11. Leonardo Ulloa, Leicester £5.1 (vs. Stoke) – Stoke look very vulnerable in this match as the foxes are coming of a win, draw and win in the last three.  Basically doubling their point total in the process.  No other up front option says pick me from Leicester so i’ll take the one named after a ninja turtle.