Man this week looks skimpier than that time I was in Jamaica and some local guy said here you need to eat this plant. Needless to say the dress code got a little luminous with my WASP colored pigment. So with the four teams off this week, and alot of them considered usual suspects in the weekly rankings. This week will look different, you see that tree over there. The nice bushy one with low lying limbs, yea well I am going out it this week. This week Aaron Cresswell leads the way for me. Why? Because his name sounds like a cookie company and he just so happens to play footie. For my buck he has the best match-up of the guys in the top 10 this week as he takes on Palace. Who coincidentally play in a stadium, not like the Taj Mahal or anything close to a Palace. Freakin’ exaggerators. It’s an off week with all the Chelsea names absent, the Leicester guys where they should be (not on the list) and the other top defenders face off against tougher squads or are just not in any form for fantasy value wise right now. So take a look at the list that starts with Aaron and will probably end with another guy. Cheers!
1. Aaron Cresswell, West Ham £5.7 (vs. Crystal Palace) – Whoever did the Hammers shopping this summer needs to be my personal shopper. Look at the value they found on the market this year, seriously go look. Yeah that good! As for Cresswell he’s massive in the attack and the Hammers defenders have a ton of 6-point clean sheet upside at Boleyn.
2. Kiernan Trippier, Burnley £4.8 (vs. Swansea) – This week is prolly the high point of Trippier’s career, he was our top pick in our first featured expert rankings over on Togga this week, and he was the consensus number one among the other “perts” as well. Go Clarets!
3. Nathaniel Clyne, Southampton £6.1 (@West Brom) – He was an apprentice to a butcher as a kid, but found out he was better with his feet. You can’t meat with your feet, but you can cut a Baggie.
4. Leighton Baines, Everton £7.1 (@Arsenal) – Had a nice run from weeks 21-23, and then was hurt missed a few matches and underwhelmed last week. He’s reflective of Everton as a whole, a steaming pile of shite! We need a PK to get Baines back on the radar.
5. Laurent Koscielny, Arsenal £5.9 (vs. Everton) – He’s quick, he’s French, he’s never on the bench, Koscielnyyy, ohhhh Koscielny! Sometimes chants are FPL gold and you don’t even know it.
6. Ryan Bertrand, Southampton £5.7 (@West Brom) – He’s back from his three match ban in the aftermath of his booking vs. Swansea. He’s dropped by £.2 over that time and with the exclusion of the week 29 visit to Stamford Bridge, which he’s not eligible to play in, the upcoming fixture run looks good. Funny thing he likes to play with puppets in his downtime, he names them Saint and Chelsea, and for some reason he always wants to play at Chelsea’s house.
7. Pablo Zabaleta, Man City £6.4 (@Liverpool) – I love a folliclely challenged fullback he played in the Barca loss in the UCL yesterday, I wouldn’t be shocked if City gets out some some aggression against Liverpool.
8. Martin Skrtel, Liverpool £5.9 (vs. Man City) – I hate the man but the Liverpool back line is tough to ignore. His extremely hot wife Barbara is also tough to ignore. City scares me but one Red had to make the list.
9. Massadio Haidara, Newcastle £4.1 (vs. Aston Villa) – Forget about Janmaat he’s more than likely out with a groin injury, too bad for the Magpie groupies. Haidara is the play at fullback for the Maggies, and the price is tasty, as the Famous Brown Ale!
10. Phil Jones, Man United £5.3 (vs. Sunderland) – With a face only a mother could love Phil’s lonely on the United backline. Not because of his looks but because no one else in the defensive corps is worth discussing besides him, even with a great matchup.
11. Anthony Reveillere, Sunderland £4.5 (@Man United) – Once upon a time Reveillere was a rat who lived in a sewer in Paris, he found nourishment by feeding off of the trash of the many great restaurants in the City. He dreamed of being a chef with a world renowned kitchen, oops that wasn’t Reveillere but Ratatouille. Yea sometimes I get confused. I think the old man setups a goal as Sundy draws United at Old Trafford. Sorry Ralph.