If I had to compare the second half of the rankings to anything, it would be the gin to the juice.  The actual butter to the “I can’t believe it” stuff.  So by comparisons sake, there isn’t any.  This is basically by vis-a-vis standards, the stuff that gets you drunk and fat.  The forwards and midfielder ranks arent as reliant on the clean sheet as the keeper and defender group, hence the lack of fluidity and movement.  It’s about the staple items here.  The guys you should be owning, because let’s face it, you should be owning them.  The top options are where the points get milled from, and what separates nothing really because the roster ownership differential isn’t there.  So stick to the staples and be ready to pounce on a good thing a week earlier then most.  That is this week’s piece of fortune cookie.  Here are the Week 16 FPL middies and Forward ranks…

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At what point… check that, we are at the dawn of an amazing fantasy precipice in regards to the team from Watford.  The Odion Ighalo love has blossomed into the previous preseason darling of a twin in Troy Deeney.  The funny thing is when you ask anyone, there is no wrong answer in selecting either of the two.  If you have been rostering Iggy all year, then by all means, stay the course.  For those of you, and that number is a generous 74% of you who don’t, the time to maybe shift your gears off of whomever or whatever trio you were rostering for the strike position. The ownership differential isn’t going to get any better in your favor.  Deeney is owned in less then 4% of all leagues, that number falls lower for the fellas/ladies we are chasing in the top-1000 teams to under 3%.  The Hornets schedule isn’t the prettiest coming up, but to be honest, we said that previously as they trudged through the likes of United and West Ham.  Are they forever roster ideas, the one including Deeney?  Probably not, but a nice match with Sunderland and the up/down affairs of Liverpool loom ahead, and to me, that is a little bit of alright.  Here are some other transfer ideas in the FPL for Week 16.  Cheers!

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Raise your hand if you are tired of hoping that a guy will be injured already, just so you can make a needed change to your lineup.   Yeah… me too.  The news on Alexis Sanchez is not looking good for the upcoming weekend fixture against Sunderland.  This is on the heels of him being not-so-healthy before the game with the same thing that will most likely force him to miss the match with the Black Cats. Who is too blame here… Wenger? My finger is pointed at Sanchez for being too sneaky and betraying all fantasy owners who owned him.  A pox on you and your whole Chilean family (or until you get fully fit and I can get you back in my squad at a discount).  The obvious and natural transfer move is to shift your similar funds to the direction of KDB.  If you own him already, you have one of two options: sit on Sanchez and wait until he gets fully healthy, risking a loss in salary and shame for the paella party.  Or transfer him out for a better, even sneakier option. What sneakier option you ask?  Well guess what I am going to tell you?  Here are some post-Alexis injury transfers to ponder on for the Week of 15 in the FPL…

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It takes a village to raise a roster.  Or in some fantasy circles, a Klopp of polo ponies.   That joke may be too American to make sense, but Google it anyways for a good laugh.  Well, Liverpool gets all cozy after a shellacking of City, but at the expense of their biggest fantasy asset, Phillippe Coutinho.  Coutinho at this moment looks in doubt for the Week 14 fixture at Anfield versus Swansea.  So the preseason wunderkind comes full circle and back to a noticeable ownership differential, now that it is a proven fact that someone from South America fits brilliantly into the Klopp system.  Whether he is there by attrition, or injury, or because Jurgen is in love with him, it doesn’t matter.  The gleam is way off the ownership, 1.9% showing that maybe the time is right to buy back into the Roberto Firmino fantasy train. With upcoming fixtures against the aforementioned Swans, and two favorable fixtures against Newcastle and West Brom, the weekly rental title maybe off him because he seems to have a place in the Liverpool side until proven otherwise (with the return of Daniel Sturridge and a half out of favor Benteke not looking like starting locks).  So take that piece of advice with a grain of Irish salt and see what other ideas we got going through the mill work at Razzball FC.

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I know old new is just that…old, but to the point that it really hasn’t affected anyone yet from a roster standpoint means a hill of beans to me and others.  Payet went down and the roster adjusting has only really started and won’t truly finish until this round of Int’l break games is completely over and kaput.  So the best piece of advice I can give you from a creepy Uncle kind of way is; wait 48 more hours post reading this and then attack the needs on your roster thusly.  Not everyone will/should have a double free transfer at their disposal, I mean you should if you listened to me just a little bit, but that is neither here nor there.  So for the few that do you are probably looking at a direct replacement for Dimitri as he was owned in over 30% of leagues before going down, the second one will be a filler for a needy defender or another player suffering from a little niggle.  So here are some tactical ideas I have concocted in my den of zen, also known as my garage,  Cheers and good luck for the week with your transfers in and out.

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Yup, I am unfortunately the bearer of bad news, I mean someone has to be “that Guy”.  I do take some kind of joy out of it, because let’s be honest it takes a special kind of a-hole to be “that guy”.  Ralph knows I am that guy, the bearer of bad anything, the most likely to say something inappropriate, blame a fart on the dog…yeah him.  With the week 12 games comes another break in action, this is like a strategy kick in the you know whats.  Just when you get into a comfortable roster rotation, guys picked out for multiple weeks then BAM.  The risk of injury hits.  Let’s just hope that it isn’t a continuation of the other Fantasy Football wrath of injuries that have happened.  So this week is a stay sound make square moves to the good and don’t risk it on guys who have one good fixture week. Wasting a free transfer is like using a 20% off coupon for a dollar purchase, but having two for the week after the Int’l break seems to me like the best piece of advice that anyone who calls themselves anything of an expert to do. So don’t give into the itch, wait for the injury fairy to rear its ugly head (because it’s going to happen in some way) and then attack week 13 in 3 weeks with the vigor of a man/woman with twice the buying power.  Here’s a list just because I need something to talk about from guys who could be worth monitoring, or if you don’t wanna listen to me.  Cheers!

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Sit with me if you will, and let’s separate time and space.  It was an eerily similar time last year when Harry Kane in all his cheap priced goodness sat on the bench waiting for the time to shine.  It is almost exactly one year to the date give or take a week or so.  We can do that, we are all friends and stuff, fake fantasy friends.  He was an under-utilized, under-valued (or so we found out) and soon to be roster darling.  He ended the year with 21 net bulges and tons of unregistered bulges from all the COYS rooters.  So here we are now, Kane was basically overpriced for his production to date, until this week happened and everyone is sitting with £3-4m in their kitty from the roster expunging of Kun. So the big question is do you and at what cost.  Vardinho needs to stay in your lineup, so avert your eyes elsewhere.  He falls into that secondary striker mode a la Pelle and Lukaku. Kane’s schedule is decent enough for the next 10 matches that you may want to roster now, enjoy the roster salary boost and then re-assess after week 19.  So that is my main advice this week, if you are looking for a “ride or die” option up top for the foreseeable future, then The Hurricane is your man.  For those of you not sold and may need help elsewhere, here’s some decent match-up and form based transfer assessments for ya.  Cheers!

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I dig that we still have the Arsenal/Sunderland fixture to be played, but honestly so what.  It’s the last week of school, teachers don’t care if you bring a pencil let alone the appropriate book to class.  So like fantasy football there is only one reason well actually two but the second one is you’re a loser, eat paste and are your mom’s laundry boy (only because the laundry is in the basement).  The first one well that’s not that simple, I really just wanted to quote O.P.P there.  It is totally simple you are still in the hunt for the c’ship or if you play in a league with some money then go get it kid.  This week is not a week to play favorites, to play your cousin if he plays in the league or anyone that you have an allegiance to.  We only get one free transfer this week and if you were ever going to take a minus its now or literally never.  So take a look at my ideas of Fantasy Premier League transfers for the finale week.

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After a one month hiatus the Champions League choo-choo starts chugging along again today, and with it, quarterfinal contests on Mondogoal. Over the next two days arguably six of the world’s ten biggest clubs will hit the pitch. Unfortunately for most of us footie addicts in the States these games will be played toward the tail end of our work days. Meaning we’ll spend most of the afternoon refreshing our browser and keeping an eye out for the boss. With a Madrid Derby and a showdown between Juventus and Monaco on the schedule there’s plenty to keep your interest. Well unless you’re more interested in Home and Garden TV then you might get bored of staring at the pretty green grass after about 20 minutes. That’s fine don’t watch, but be a pal and keep a lookout for the bossman. If you do I’ll split my winnings on Mondo with you. Who knows, it may just be enough to buy a feast at McDonalds or floor mats for your Ford Focus. Not sure if you realize this but Mondogoal pays real money and it’s the only place where you can play daily fantasy soccer in every league of any relevance. Hell I was able to make $50 on the Natick Youth soccer league last week. Speaking of that I’d like to clear the air and say in no way, shape, or form did I provide any of the players I picked with Redbull soaked orange slices. Those are outright lies and I have a sterling reputation to uphold in the community. Now that we’ve cleared the air let’s get down to my UCL quarterfinal picks for the first leg.

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So, as we do every match day, we’re giving you our loves and hates for this week in a segment called Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em.  You should know the drill but if you don’t, we each pick one option from each position, and then, for a bonus, we show you our genius line-ups for the week.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  The best part is, you get two opinions for the price of one.  We do this as a tandem, it’s the Smokey and Ralph show.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em Week 28 Fantasy Premier League.

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