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Well, all you Razzball faithful guess what? Smokey here to tell ya, we blew out the walls that separate us (mostly bad teeth and charming accents) and have expanded across the pond.  That’s right, we are going to be doing Fantasy Soccer, focusing mainly on the EPL and various other tournaments that we as fantasy degenerates like to peruse in an effort to throw time and money away. Week 8 is our starting point, and we’ll be a continuous treasure trove of information, advice, and outlandishness from here on out, basically everything you’d expect from Razzball, but now with more balls. Soccer balls that is.

Before we get involved with starting the XI’s, and all the fantasy pertinence, it’s important for me to introduce myself (with my partner in crime, Ralph Lipschitz, fresh  from the inter-workings of the Razzball sprocket factory, introducing himself below).

So, before Ralph takes over, I think it’s important that I put my allegiance out there right away. I am a Chelsea. Yeah, yeah, I hear the boos already. Get over it. I’ve been a fan of them since the days of Ruud Gullit, Gianfranco Zola, and Roberto Di Matteo (when he was actually a player and not a manager). So I’m not a bandwagon jumper like some of you might think. So yeah, besides the one-third of you that hate me now, and don’t believe anything I’ll say about fantasy on principle, stay tuned for what Ralph has to say. You might find out some neat things about him. Remember, the love of soccer, the love of this sport is all rooted in the team colors.

Welcome to Razzball Soccer. Oh, you know it’s going to get Smokey in here…

Welcome fellow hooligans to the maiden voyage of Razzball Soccer. I’m sure I speak for myself and Smokey when I, Ralph Lipschitz, say I couldn’t be more excited to have you here with us. This newest member of the Razzball blogosphere was the brain child of Smokey and yours truly. We first hatched this idea over many pints after the Razzball 32in32in32 stop in Boston. Both of us, as veteran fantasy Premier League players, recognized the lack of extensive fantasy coverage on the topic. You had a handful of options for coverage and almost none of it was as in depth, as say, our Baseball site is. So that’s our aim here… to bring a tried and true approach to a rapidly expanding market place, and deliver it all with the usual Razzball wit and sarcasm. I also have some ulterior motives here as well, and that’s to discredit as much of what low-life Chelsea fan, Smokey, says. As a loyal supporter of the true Pride of England, Manchester United, I feel it’s my duty to bring to you a perspective based on excellence and winning, as opposed to Chelsea’s long tradition of excess and drama. Seriously, Chelsea is like the soccer version of the Kardashian family.

When people find out that I’m a big Premier League fan, the first question they usually ask is, how? As in how did you become a English Soccer fan? And why United? Well shutup and I’ll tell you. It all started about five years ago. At the time, I was a typical American, making fun of diving soccer players with really no interest in the game that my father, grandfather, and great grandfather loved, played, and coached. It was a July afternoon and over a couple of beers my two best friends and fellow fantasy nuts convinced me to join their Fantasy Premier League. I signed up figuring I’d be doing nothing more than making a donation to someone’s liver destruction fund. As it turned out, I was spot on about the donation, but something unexpected happened, somewhere along the way, I fell in love with the game. The first year, I was more of a fantasy player than a fan of a particular club. All I knew was that I didn’t want to be a Manchester United fan. They were the front runner team, the Yankees of soccer so to speak, and as a Red Sox fan that made my blood boil. I thought about my father’s favorite club Chelsea, but it didn’t feel right. I considered the hometown club of my grandfather Blackburn, but they were boring and had maybe the ugliest kits of all-time. So I found myself a free agent looking for a team to call my own. Then something clicked the following season as I watched a Manchester Derby, and found myself routing for United. (As an aside a Derby is a fancy English word for a grudge match with a cross-town rival.) I think it was the Ogre looking star of Manchester United Wayne Rooney’s fiery and passionate play, or it could have been the tactical wizardry and curmudgeon attitude of their long time manager Sir Alex Ferguson. Whatever it was I sold, and ever since that day I’ve been a Red Devil supporter. Hopefully that give you some background into my soccer fanaticism. I’m looking forward to being one of your fantasy EPL resources going forward.

Welcome to Razzball Soccer. I promise, you’ll learn to Lipschitz in no time. (Hot.)

  1. Passive Aggressive says:
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    I love this, thank you for starting it. I’ve been looking for an excuse to get into fantasy soccer – been a player (no, not that kind of player) my whole life. As a Liverpool fan, we might have a few disagreements along the way, of course.

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