So I saw It over the weekend, and while I didn’t even come close to crapping my pants in fear (thanks hangover!), I’m about 99% sure that Harry Kane’s fear of August shares a creepy amount of commonalities with that homicidal crazed clown creature; both of them enjoy floating through open space (Kane on the pitch; the clown in a mind-altering expanse of sewer pipe only Mario would be jealous of), speaking in weird accents (seriously, listen to Harry Kane give an interview sometime), have an affinity for the color white (duh), and lastly, they both enjoy making red balloons go POP! (metaphorically speaking, that would be the hopes/dreams of all Gunner fans everywhere; FFS that’s not a spoiler! he’s a clown, he owns balloons!) Whether or not the fear of August (Augustamphobia?) has an actual effect on Kane’s past performances (it doesn’t), it’s good to see him conquering his “fears” and getting on the board with a brace, a very important and necessary step as he looks to become only the third player in Premier League history to win three consecutive Golden Boots. The other two are Prem Legends Alan Shearer and Thierry Henry, who were 24 and 26, respectively, when they won the first of their three Botas Doradas. Kane just turned 24 this past July and has two under the belt. To paraphrase another mildy entertaining movie, you’re [once again] a wizard, Harryyyy!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Prem is here, and we can all now rejoice. Now that the season has kicked off, I will be doing my best to fill your Mondays with sweet, fond memories from the games from over the weekend. I also ask for some patience as I work through how to best provide both a summation and meaningful outlook on the matches.

I was hoping to write about all 20 teams for this post, but it started to become lengthy and I started to get sleepy. So, here are my notes over the weekend on Arsenal to Liverpool (alpha order because why not?)…I will hopefully have Man City to West Ham by tomorrow.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If this is your first time here, then welcome.  But for those of you that know the gist of this intro, skip down and add your comments.  Every week I run down the weekly match-ups of all the matches on the slate and rank them based on price, ownership, and matches.  I then coagulate those in a high powered juice-maker of FPL proportions and come up with rankings for the week.  Sounds pretty cut and dry, and with this being Week 1, it becomes harder to rank because we only know what we know. And don’t know what we know, besides knowing what we don’t know.  There is no pattern, and it is all speculation.  So this separates the guessers from the experts in some form.  So feel free to critique, give me guff, or just stop on in to pat me on the back.  The season is here, and here starts the first rankings of Week 1.  Cheers!

It’s also not to late to join and compete against me and others in FPL’s season long game,  of course you do its a rhetorical question.  Join the Razzball FPL league  188358-66431 and join me and your fellow Razzballians.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Every now and again, I enjoy a good change. I usually lump the rankings together in one useful and worthwhile post. This week, I am going back to the old “stand me” by breaking down the rankings between the back-enders and the glory riders (midfielders and forwards). I thought no one would mind, because if you minded you would have told me long before now that you did and I would have proactively done what you asked. Smokey is a people pleaser! The Defense and Keeper ranks are the fantasy wheelchair to the other positions being the backbone. The clean sheet monsters are just that, clean sheet driven. Their sole purpose and most points given are based from that… Granted, I get that some instances arise where people go off and have goals, assists, or a large number of saves to add to their fantasy bounty. But that is few and far between, so let’s just stick to the chalk here and get down to the Fantasy Premier league Rankings for Keepers and Defense. Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?