So I saw It over the weekend, and while I didn’t even come close to crapping my pants in fear (thanks hangover!), I’m about 99% sure that Harry Kane’s fear of August shares a creepy amount of commonalities with that homicidal crazed clown creature; both of them enjoy floating through open space (Kane on the pitch; the clown in a mind-altering expanse of sewer pipe only Mario would be jealous of), speaking in weird accents (seriously, listen to Harry Kane give an interview sometime), have an affinity for the color white (duh), and lastly, they both enjoy making red balloons go POP! (metaphorically speaking, that would be the hopes/dreams of all Gunner fans everywhere; FFS that’s not a spoiler! he’s a clown, he owns balloons!) Whether or not the fear of August (Augustamphobia?) has an actual effect on Kane’s past performances (it doesn’t), it’s good to see him conquering his “fears” and getting on the board with a brace, a very important and necessary step as he looks to become only the third player in Premier League history to win three consecutive Golden Boots. The other two are Prem Legends Alan Shearer and Thierry Henry, who were 24 and 26, respectively, when they won the first of their three Botas Doradas. Kane just turned 24 this past July and has two under the belt. To paraphrase another mildy entertaining movie, you’re [once again] a wizard, Harryyyy!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With the end of the season in sight, it is time to announce that tickets are now on sale for the first annual Razzball pancake breakfast.  It is a bring your own eggs affair.  A dozen is good but the amount of slackers that we have that will attend it is best to bring a dozen and a half.  I will be your DJ in the kitchen cooking up hash browns on the ones and twos.  Not sure if anyone else will be accompanying me in the chef department, if not, so be it. I am used to going at things on my own.  So get pancake hungry y’all!  Now to the lecture at hand, week 36 is here and it gives us a real strategy look at what to do the rest of the way.  Whether you have the WC still at your discretion or not.  Two teams, Arsenal and Southampton have fantasy assets in name only this week as both teams only offer the extra set of fixtures and not the allure.  So don’t go crazy with bringing in hopes and dreams of positive thinking this week and concentrate on Week 37 instead.  But for now stay here enjoy my rankings and hell even stay and leave a comment or three.  Happy transferring.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The long drawn out week is going to bring out the dreaded “R” word.  That word is: rotation… maybe.  With two teams playing three games in a weeks time and some playing two in 4 or 5, fitness is going to be tested this week as we steam towards the end of the Premier league season.  Trust me, I don’t want the rotation stuff to even be a remote possibility, but in some sense of reality, it is going to happen. With nagging injuries, formation switches, and the bottom teams fighting for relegation, it just seems way to obvious of a stitch that some strange names may rear their faces and ruin the fantasy party.  Writing the lede for the rankings is the hardest post, because it is all cut and dry stuff… look up a guy see where he is ranked.  So if you made it this far into the opening, good on ya.  If you skipped it, don’t really matter and don’t let me waste anymore of your time.  So without further adieu, here are the Week 35 FPL rankings.  Good luck on the DGW setup and with this week’s transfers.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I get it. I am a realist, the temptations that are flirting with you on the waiver wire or transfer market is a temptious beast. She will lure you in with promises and form, and leave you disappointed like Alvaro Negredo on a DGW. That is not the case this week my peeps. It is thew final stretch. The set-up before the Tim Horton special, the double-double. With Arsenal and Southampton doubling in back to back weeks I can see if you don’t have a wildcard at your disposal that all your transfers this week will be in a set-up for that capacity. But unfortunately there is a week to play before that cluster F rears its ugly head. So let us attack the week 35 slate before we get ahead of ourselves and stay in the here and now. Here are some present day transfer ideas for week 35 of the FPL season. Only 4 more weeks to go and then I go into hibernation. Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The conclusion of the third match-week in less than 10 days is always fun for me because it actually allows me to do nothing with my life but rank, write, and then write some more. I do it all for the love people. So the one thing that jumped out to me for this week is that there might be a bit of rotation coming up for a few teams. Most notably Chelsea, and at least for this week, Leicester. Chelsea is basically 2-3 wins away from clinching the league title outright and may just start tinkering with their roster just enough to make it fantasy hell for everyone. So don’t be all surprised when it happens, Uncle Smokey told ya so. The second team is Leicester, who have a more important game in the Champions League coming midweek. Now they seem to be sorta safe from relegation and that tournament is way more important to them right now. Once again, I hope they don’t take Vardy or any useful pieces away, but anything can happen in FPL. Enjoy the Week 32 rankings and comments are always solicited. Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”. You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position. Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic. It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week’S upcoming and changes from week-to-week. I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness. It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 14 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, the result that we all were waiting for, City over Huddersfield, now adds to an already strategic plan onto an already over-strategized plan. So the transfer ideas this week are all City front six players, and stay away from the defense because they aren’t the most stoic bunch of clean sheet artists. Or you can go with the cost savings group and invest in Stoke players who also double thanks to the City victory yesterday. Regardless of what you do to your team, taking a minus this week on players that double up is a good idea because even if they get bare minimum returns of two points, you break even just on minutes played. The payoff is if the actually do anything or actually play. So with the DGW in mind here are the rankings for Week 27 in the FPL. Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?