So I saw It over the weekend, and while I didn’t even come close to crapping my pants in fear (thanks hangover!), I’m about 99% sure that Harry Kane’s fear of August shares a creepy amount of commonalities with that homicidal crazed clown creature; both of them enjoy floating through open space (Kane on the pitch; the clown in a mind-altering expanse of sewer pipe only Mario would be jealous of), speaking in weird accents (seriously, listen to Harry Kane give an interview sometime), have an affinity for the color white (duh), and lastly, they both enjoy making red balloons go POP! (metaphorically speaking, that would be the hopes/dreams of all Gunner fans everywhere; FFS that’s not a spoiler! he’s a clown, he owns balloons!) Whether or not the fear of August (Augustamphobia?) has an actual effect on Kane’s past performances (it doesn’t), it’s good to see him conquering his “fears” and getting on the board with a brace, a very important and necessary step as he looks to become only the third player in Premier League history to win three consecutive Golden Boots. The other two are Prem Legends Alan Shearer and Thierry Henry, who were 24 and 26, respectively, when they won the first of their three Botas Doradas. Kane just turned 24 this past July and has two under the belt. To paraphrase another mildy entertaining movie, you’re [once again] a wizard, Harryyyy!

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The Prem is here, and we can all now rejoice. Now that the season has kicked off, I will be doing my best to fill your Mondays with sweet, fond memories from the games from over the weekend. I also ask for some patience as I work through how to best provide both a summation and meaningful outlook on the matches.

I was hoping to write about all 20 teams for this post, but it started to become lengthy and I started to get sleepy. So, here are my notes over the weekend on Arsenal to Liverpool (alpha order because why not?)…I will hopefully have Man City to West Ham by tomorrow.

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If this is your first time here, then welcome.  But for those of you that know the gist of this intro, skip down and add your comments.  Every week I run down the weekly match-ups of all the matches on the slate and rank them based on price, ownership, and matches.  I then coagulate those in a high powered juice-maker of FPL proportions and come up with rankings for the week.  Sounds pretty cut and dry, and with this being Week 1, it becomes harder to rank because we only know what we know. And don’t know what we know, besides knowing what we don’t know.  There is no pattern, and it is all speculation.  So this separates the guessers from the experts in some form.  So feel free to critique, give me guff, or just stop on in to pat me on the back.  The season is here, and here starts the first rankings of Week 1.  Cheers!

It’s also not to late to join and compete against me and others in FPL’s season long game,  of course you do its a rhetorical question.  Join the Razzball FPL league  188358-66431 and join me and your fellow Razzballians.

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AHHHH, short weeks ruin stuff like rankings and decision-making.  Well, the skippers of many teams ruin that by rotations and selection conundrums.  That doesn’t even factor into the equation the fitness levels of some high-test fantasy players.  Unfortunately the best strategy is to have a strong enough bench just in case those situations where substitutes come into play.  You don’t need three quality subs, but it doesn’t hurt to say, have two that actually play from week-to-week, that unfortunately gather dust on your bench.  A crisp two points from a player is better then a straight zero.  So think wisely with your main goal in building toward another fast game week set over the weekend and the eventual DGW’s that are coming.  Here are the Fantasy Premier league Rankings for Week 31,  Cheers!

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Yikes folks, three-game weeks in 10 days and if you don’t have the need for adult diapers, now may be the time.  Excitement personified!  This is the last stretch run of games that come in succession like this for the rest of the year, and if you are big proponent of taking a minus and not having it affect you this is the time.  I say that because if you simply take a minus a week for the next 3 and set yourself up with one player for the week, and one for the DGW in 34 w/ United, Soton, and Palace… you will be ahead of the game and hold onto that coveted wildcard for the better looking DGW fixtures after Week 34.  But what the heck do I know? Enjoy the week.  Happy transferring and here are the Week 30 FPL rankings for all positions.  Cheers!

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The whole hub-bub this week will be to take a minus or not. I don’t care what other research of quadratic jargon that you peruse on a daily basis, that is the only question that matters. The quick answer here is do what you think is right by your team in setting yourself up to compete in Week 29. That is the more important question. This week is basically a wash and everyone, and I mean everyone is either working at a disadvantage to get a starting XI, or will take a minus to get there. The run out is more important than a four game slate that features a less then attractive depth solution to this week’s problem. Get your team to 9 and then if you want 10 at a minus 4, go for it. If not, relax, be on top of your team for Week 29 so you can bring in Kane or Costa. You can think about midfield with Hazard and Sanchez and defensively you should be all set and gambling with the guys who get you through Week 28 until you are ready to wildcard. I am no genius in this, it is all common sense. Don’t play follow the leader, play the I own my own FPL team game. Here are the sexy rankings for Week 28. Cheers!

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Well, the result that we all were waiting for, City over Huddersfield, now adds to an already strategic plan onto an already over-strategized plan. So the transfer ideas this week are all City front six players, and stay away from the defense because they aren’t the most stoic bunch of clean sheet artists. Or you can go with the cost savings group and invest in Stoke players who also double thanks to the City victory yesterday. Regardless of what you do to your team, taking a minus this week on players that double up is a good idea because even if they get bare minimum returns of two points, you break even just on minutes played. The payoff is if the actually do anything or actually play. So with the DGW in mind here are the rankings for Week 27 in the FPL. Cheers!

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With Blanks draw contempt. A brilliant man once said that, and that man was Wayne Shaw’s brother Bernard Shaw. Smart guy, wandering transfer fingers though. So with week 26 here, and as I have so elaborately explained in the transfer post, don’t be a lemming! Unless being a lemming in the transfer market is to defend your throne. If you are chasing points in your money leagues or mini-leagues, think differently. You kinda have to with the blank weeks and soon-to-be double game weeks. Going with the flow wasn’t cool for the Fonz, so it shouldn’t be cool with you. You think Pinky Tuscadero would have paid him any attention if he was boring? Hell nah. Where was I, oh that’s right, week 26 rankings. So this week is broken down into basically defense and attack with midfielders and forwards coming your way manana, so stay tuned. But stay in the here and now and concentrate on the keepers and defense. Rostering too many blank players leaves you with a blank expression when Monday rolls around and you are sitting 10 points below the average score. So sit back, relax and enjoy week 26 because the roller coaster that is the FPL is now in full effect. Cheers!

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The calm before the blank week storm is upon us. Soon after this week we will determine most of our course for the next few weeks, as the FA cup will dictate the upcoming fixtures in Week 28 and so on. Let us not get too far ahead of ourselves and concentrate on this week’s tasty fixtures and the fantasy appeal that they offer. Week 25 is a key point in the yearm and if you don’t have to make a transfer and can go into Week 26 with two, then by all means, do so. Keep that WC in your top pocket and trudge forward into fantasy glory. Here are the Week 25 rankings for the official game. Cheers!

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In a perfect world, I could drop these on you last minute, right before gametime kick-off,s and have them be just as effective.  Unfortunately, we can’t do that because the FA Cup fixtures get in the way and mess things.  So posting the rankings pre-FA Cup is a dangerous and possibly a worthless venture, but I am doing it anyways.  Take in mind that the games over this weekend will impact what happens in the FPL fixture on Tuesday and Wednesday.  Injuries, new transfers and just plain bad luck do happen.  I mean, I just finished my weather controlling device, so now my attention will turn to the prediction of all things fantasy.  So take these with a grain of salt, and use some common sense when it comes time to use your transfers.  Waiting is usually the best advice.  Cheers!

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