So I saw It over the weekend, and while I didn’t even come close to crapping my pants in fear (thanks hangover!), I’m about 99% sure that Harry Kane’s fear of August shares a creepy amount of commonalities with that homicidal crazed clown creature; both of them enjoy floating through open space (Kane on the pitch; the clown in a mind-altering expanse of sewer pipe only Mario would be jealous of), speaking in weird accents (seriously, listen to Harry Kane give an interview sometime), have an affinity for the color white (duh), and lastly, they both enjoy making red balloons go POP! (metaphorically speaking, that would be the hopes/dreams of all Gunner fans everywhere; FFS that’s not a spoiler! he’s a clown, he owns balloons!) Whether or not the fear of August (Augustamphobia?) has an actual effect on Kane’s past performances (it doesn’t), it’s good to see him conquering his “fears” and getting on the board with a brace, a very important and necessary step as he looks to become only the third player in Premier League history to win three consecutive Golden Boots. The other two are Prem Legends Alan Shearer and Thierry Henry, who were 24 and 26, respectively, when they won the first of their three Botas Doradas. Kane just turned 24 this past July and has two under the belt. To paraphrase another mildy entertaining movie, you’re [once again] a wizard, Harryyyy!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week’s upcoming and changes from week-to-week.  I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 4 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So we attack the long first break of the year with some Week 4 goodies. As we all know, the basis of any good team is a good defense.  Without it, the goal would just be pummeled with shots and no goalie to stop them, making the score infinite.  That for the sake of all that is holy doesn’t actually happen, so much like reality, fantasy has to have keepers and defense.  they round out every nutritious fantasy breakfast, and if played right can be more prosperous than some striker combinations.  For the sake of this week’s match-ups though, the teams with some normal fantasy usefulness are turned into just fodder.  I am staring glaringly obviously at the City/Liverpool match which kicks of this week’s action bright an early on Saturday morning.  So to start the week yesterday was Transfer ideas and targets and now come the cavalcade of rankings for your viewing pleasure.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?