If you guessed from the title this week, this week is anyone’s guess.  Unfortunately, the locking system for starting XI isn’t evolved enough to give us enough time to adjust our rosters accordingly.  But with only a handful of teams with something to play for, hitting the right guy via the transfer wire is like throwing darts from 100 yards away.  With Liverpool and City still battling for Champions league spots, and Arsenal hoping for the best in those outcomes…  those games would be the high point of my interest as far as transfers go.  If you are close in your mini-league to moving up a few spots, don’t be afraid to take a gamble, you have to think obtusely in order to make up points this week.  You know why?  Because there is no tomorrow.  I mean, there is a tomorrow, but it doesn’t matter.  So go to the store buy a new set of balls, and get weird.  Here are some ideas for the week to get you through your transfer conundrum.  It has been a hell of a year, one last Cheers for ya!

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International duty, or doodie if you have a three-year-old’s sense of humor like me, is going to make some of the rankings this week a bit fun.  Yeah, I will use fun because it’s really not going to be because speculating on stuff only makes me look bad and invites you to point the finger of your choosing at me. The news on Antonio Valencia and other South American based players returning on time for Saturday? Sunday duty is sketchy to say the least.  So if you own or have any inklings of going that route with your roster, I would strongly encourage you to look elsewheres.  So with that, we get into the clean sheet crapshoot purveyors, the defenders of both the box and goal line and like any game played it is tied to both luck and skill… unfortunately.  It is still a little early to completely rely on form of fixture, and I would still use my gut on the form thing.  If it look’s like a duck and doesn’t score like a duck, then it probably is a duck.  So keep that in mind as there are some interesting clean sheet options this week with Arsenal, Chelsea, and West Ham looking like stronger clean options, but others still exist like Burnley.  So good luck this week, Cheers!

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We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week upcoming and changes from week to week.  I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 2 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t).

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This is the first reminder that lineups lock on Friday.  So now that you have looked to make sure I am not tripping face and actually am spitting truth.   How did everyone do with their week one results?  I personally got a tiny bit screwed, but such is life.  This fantasy season is a marathon not a sprint.  So points to be made up every week.  It is way too early to panic and jump in and use your wildcard, I would much rather advise you to take a -4 this week and get the pieces in your line-up that you covet.  One thing to also remember is that since the season is still young the fixtures and the teams may not be the way we assume so be smart with your transfers and think longer term then just this week.  Here are the week 2 FPL rankings.

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I know you’ve been waiting for it. You’ve been speculating with your friends when it would drop. It seemed like you’d never see the day, but it’s here. That’s right the first annual Razzball Fantasy Premier League rankings are upon us. Just to clarify we will be dropping two sets of rankings one for the official FPL game through the PL.com site and another for draft style formats like Play Togga that utilize Opta scoring. Today’s rankings are for the official formats only, so take note of the corresponding pricing listed. These rankings are not value ranked they are production ranked. So in other words these are the blokes we think will score the most regardless of price. In today’s ranks we’re focusing strictly on defenders and keepers. For tomorrow’s post we’ll dig into our forward and midfielder rankings. If you have any questions, feel we grossly undervalued or overvalued a player, or just plan missed a valuable bloke post it in the comments and we can discuss our thinking.

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That’s right lads we lasted all the way to Week 38 without being kidnapped, shot, or canceled.  I know I find all of this pretty shocking myself. But we made it and hopefully you found our content entertaining, helpful, and worthy of killing 10 minutes on the jon. I mean everyone knows the best place to read fantasy footie fodder is on the porcelain throne.  No?  With the finale schedule upcoming on Sunday it means that there’s 10 matches kicking off simultaneously.  This year’s final day features absolutely zero top four or championship drama, three clubs vying for two Europa spots, and Hull and Newcastle locked in a relegation battle.  This means we have exactly 5 games of any actual significance.  Those teams with something to play for will weigh heavily in my rankings this week.  Many of the usual suspects and studs of the 2014-2015 season will take a seat on the bench in favor of those that actually have a reason to suit up.   This is a scary week for those of you locked in title races with rosters full of Chelsea players, particularly if you own Eden Hazard.  The Belgian megastar is more than likely to miss Chelsea’s final match due to a dental problem.  Who knew the English knew what a dental problem was? (dun, dun, cymbal)  To a lesser extent the leftovers of Arsenal double week also must be of concern.  Now that they have about as much to play for as…hmmm…I don’t have an analogy. There’s in fact nothing in the world that has less to play for. Let’s quickly discuss the games of relevance below, and then list the top 11 at each position.  Fantasy Premier League Rankings Week 38…

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Advantages are what you take in your favor, and with two weeks to go you should be looking for anything possibly.  Trends, injuries to key players and most importantly its no time to be a Johnny Cheapskate.  By that I mean those dreaded minus 4 points.  They look like a lot, but if you are bringing in someone and they score 5 by my math your are still one for the good.  The advantage this week start and well actually it continues with the train wreck that is Newcastle.  They are playing a team that has clean sheeted the last three opponents and they are known on the streets as West Brom.  So if you are looking for a cheap alternative that most aren’t going to roster than that’s the first place you should look.  So keep looking and explore the rest of my week 36 defender rankings.

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Calm down I know what all of you are thinking, you’re thinking “Oh no what happened to Smokey?” “Did he finally get sick of carrying Ralph on his back and quit?” “Was he stabbed by Ralph in the aftermath of Saturday’s Man United/Chelsea showdown?” “Does he not like all of us?” The answer to all of these questions is donkey brains! What?!? That’s right Smokey came down with a bad case of donkey brains and needed me to pickup the slack while he got his head right. So I’m going to be giving you a far less insightful, far less entertaining version of the defender rankings. Think of it this way, if Smokey is Cheez-Its, then I’m Cheese-nips, I’m the diet coke of defenders, the Big Country to Smokey’s U2. So without further ado lets list Chelsea, Liverpool, and Leicester defenders shall we?

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So, as we do every match day, we’re giving you our loves and hates for this week in a segment called Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em.  You should know the drill but if you don’t, we each pick one option from each position, and then, for a bonus, we show you our genius line-ups for the week.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  The best part is, you get two opinions for the price of one.  We do this as a tandem, it’s the Smokey and Ralph show.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em Week 33 Fantasy Premier League.

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Real actual players, is this a dream or is this reality.  I have been entrenched in straight baseball with a mix of footie for the better part of 10 days and didn’t know whether you kicked a baseball or hit a soccer ball with a bat.  This week has the delightful double match week, well sort of.  From a fantasy perspective, well defense wise it looks like it is a crap shoot at best.  Do you know who wins when you throw crap?  The person who doesn’t actually have to touch the crap.  Hence why my recommendations this week are to steer clear of the 2 match games this week for both Villa and the QPR.  Their are plenty of better options out there and good match-ups abound for the top 5 season scoring leaders, so I would exploit the hierarchy of the defensive corps.  Just makes too much sense.  Using the shaky defenses of Villa and QPR might net you 2 points as I don’t see any of the 4 games they both play ending in zeroes.  Enjoy the week to come, as always more to come this week.  Rankings, start/sit advice, free balloon animals for the kids.  You know that general good natured type stuff.  Cheers

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