We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  It is more based on my feelings and gut approach for the week’S upcoming and changes from week-to-week.  I look at match-ups and form to formulate my craziness.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 34 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t).

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To quote a movie that we have all heard, or have been forced to listen to if you have kids or nieces: “In the first time in forever” we have a non-double week, non-truncated week, and no blanks from anyone.  My memory is bad as all get out, but it feels longer than a few weeks to me. So the week before the big double it is sorta like a moving week.  You can’t really afford to bring in anyone that isn’t on a double for Week 37, but you can’t completely trust in some teams that have a double next week for this week to contribute.  I am firmly looking at Chelsea, Norwich, and Everton.  We have all been burned by the Toffees, and I, as your friend and local FPL expert, advise against all moves in that general direction.  Even the other team in the Sae Town is iffy with rotations and the Europa’s still going on.  So that leaves a whole sixteams with which to roster.  Now you know why I am all on the Cats this week and next, because to me, they have shiner appeal, especially defensively than a lot of other clubs.  Add in the fact that they are fighting relegation and boom, fantasy asset…  So here are the back-enders for Week 36 of the FPL. Cheers!

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We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called “Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em”.  You should know the drill, but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position, and then, for a bonus, we show you our genius lineups for the week.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  We used to do this in tandem, but since I am flying solo while Ralph explores all the tallest mountains in the world, you are stuck with my and only my opine.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em, Week 27 (plus a sleeper/under-owned fella that should be owned and isn’t).

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Each and every gameweek when Smoke Dog and I do these rankings, the first thing we do is check out the roster of games. We scan through and pick out the matches we feel have the highest probability for clean sheets, high goal totals, and potential trap games for FPL stars. Then you dig deeper into the historical numbers and so on. Unfortunately the weeks where you can identify multiple clean sheet opportunities are few far between. That’s what makes Matchweek 11 so unique, there’s literally half a dozen fixtures with clean sheet upside. Seriously look at the slate of games, City vs Norwich, Stoke @ Newcastle, West Ham @ Watford, Everton vs Sunderland, and Spurs vs Villa. Not too shabby, and I didn’t even include Leicester coming off their first clean of the season traveling to the Hawthorns. It’s a virtual cornucopia of options for CS, my over the internet friends. Will all these matches end with zeros on the right side of the scoresheet? Hell to the no. So let’s rank’em out and pickup the pieces after. Whaddaya say? Fantasy Premier League Rankings Week 11 for Keepers and Defence.

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Well we all knew that was coming, and we should have known it was this week too. Hmmmm am I talking about Kun’s Kaboom or Brendan Rodgers sacking? Could be either right? Well Liverpool’s newly vacant managerial position is certainly of less interest than the rebirth of the FPL’s best player, but to each his own. It was a welcomed development now that City has jumped back to the top of the table, and in even better news Sergio Aguero has once again reminded us why he’s priced at £13.2. I mean 5 goals in 20 minutes is quite the feat, unless you’re Robert Lewandowski, and it’s tough to not be excited by what we saw from the triumvirate of Sergio Aguero, Kevin De Bruyne, and David Silva. I want to own them all and if I hadn’t been so hasty in my use of the wild card I just might. We’re almost a quarter of the way through the the season and it’s probably just about the perfect time to use your wild card. You’ll have the entirety of the international break to pick and choose your players and the knowledge of who’s hurt and who’s healthy coming out of the qualifiers. Now back to our regularly scheduled Kun-stonishment! I’d like to see how many squads implemented the triple captain on Aguero this week. No chance there’s a higher scoring performance in FPL the rest of the term, unless it’s from Kun himself. As previously mentioned Kevin De Bruyne should not be forgotten in all of this. He was fabulous, and I’d happily buy him at the expense of Pedro or Hazard. He’s just a tick below Alexis right now in the overall midfield rankings, but it’s closer than one might think. Same goes for Silva. Funny how in the matter of a few weeks, we’ve gone from wanting City defenders over attackers, to City attackers over defenders. Honestly the later is probably what it’s supposed to be. Here’s what else I saw in Matchweek 8.

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Let’s keep it clean, go to your own corners and come out fighting.  The Keeps and defence are all about the CS.  There are no if and or butts about it.  If you are planning on Russell Martin scoring a third week in a row you have another thing coming.  Play for the cleaan and let everything else take care of itself.  The assists, the goals are all bonuses.  Here is the rankings of the back-enders for the FPL week of 4.

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That’s right lads we lasted all the way to Week 38 without being kidnapped, shot, or canceled.  I know I find all of this pretty shocking myself. But we made it and hopefully you found our content entertaining, helpful, and worthy of killing 10 minutes on the jon. I mean everyone knows the best place to read fantasy footie fodder is on the porcelain throne.  No?  With the finale schedule upcoming on Sunday it means that there’s 10 matches kicking off simultaneously.  This year’s final day features absolutely zero top four or championship drama, three clubs vying for two Europa spots, and Hull and Newcastle locked in a relegation battle.  This means we have exactly 5 games of any actual significance.  Those teams with something to play for will weigh heavily in my rankings this week.  Many of the usual suspects and studs of the 2014-2015 season will take a seat on the bench in favor of those that actually have a reason to suit up.   This is a scary week for those of you locked in title races with rosters full of Chelsea players, particularly if you own Eden Hazard.  The Belgian megastar is more than likely to miss Chelsea’s final match due to a dental problem.  Who knew the English knew what a dental problem was? (dun, dun, cymbal)  To a lesser extent the leftovers of Arsenal double week also must be of concern.  Now that they have about as much to play for as…hmmm…I don’t have an analogy. There’s in fact nothing in the world that has less to play for. Let’s quickly discuss the games of relevance below, and then list the top 11 at each position.  Fantasy Premier League Rankings Week 38…

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I dig that we still have the Arsenal/Sunderland fixture to be played, but honestly so what.  It’s the last week of school, teachers don’t care if you bring a pencil let alone the appropriate book to class.  So like fantasy football there is only one reason well actually two but the second one is you’re a loser, eat paste and are your mom’s laundry boy (only because the laundry is in the basement).  The first one well that’s not that simple, I really just wanted to quote O.P.P there.  It is totally simple you are still in the hunt for the c’ship or if you play in a league with some money then go get it kid.  This week is not a week to play favorites, to play your cousin if he plays in the league or anyone that you have an allegiance to.  We only get one free transfer this week and if you were ever going to take a minus its now or literally never.  So take a look at my ideas of Fantasy Premier League transfers for the finale week.

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The title should say it all, I know they play each other one of the fixtures but it’s still double your pleasure double your fun.  Though I don’t think this involves gum or the hot twins that promote that product.  Here at Razz-footie we don’t have a female representative, unless you count when I lose a bet and have to paint my toenails a ridiculous color of fuchsia.  But that is a story for another time and a few pints between us to know that you are actually cool enough to know said information.  This week strategy is simple, maximize players.  You are going to be playing 2 Arsenal defenders, and one Sunderland.  Or if you are feeling frisky and wanna pull off the band-aids from your nipple nice and slow do it reverse.  It’s your team or nipple, so have at it hoss.  So stick around as I break down the top XI defenders for the week of menopause, I mean 37.

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Calm down I know what all of you are thinking, you’re thinking “Oh no what happened to Smokey?” “Did he finally get sick of carrying Ralph on his back and quit?” “Was he stabbed by Ralph in the aftermath of Saturday’s Man United/Chelsea showdown?” “Does he not like all of us?” The answer to all of these questions is donkey brains! What?!? That’s right Smokey came down with a bad case of donkey brains and needed me to pickup the slack while he got his head right. So I’m going to be giving you a far less insightful, far less entertaining version of the defender rankings. Think of it this way, if Smokey is Cheez-Its, then I’m Cheese-nips, I’m the diet coke of defenders, the Big Country to Smokey’s U2. So without further ado lets list Chelsea, Liverpool, and Leicester defenders shall we?

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