So I saw It over the weekend, and while I didn’t even come close to crapping my pants in fear (thanks hangover!), I’m about 99% sure that Harry Kane’s fear of August shares a creepy amount of commonalities with that homicidal crazed clown creature; both of them enjoy floating through open space (Kane on the pitch; the clown in a mind-altering expanse of sewer pipe only Mario would be jealous of), speaking in weird accents (seriously, listen to Harry Kane give an interview sometime), have an affinity for the color white (duh), and lastly, they both enjoy making red balloons go POP! (metaphorically speaking, that would be the hopes/dreams of all Gunner fans everywhere; FFS that’s not a spoiler! he’s a clown, he owns balloons!) Whether or not the fear of August (Augustamphobia?) has an actual effect on Kane’s past performances (it doesn’t), it’s good to see him conquering his “fears” and getting on the board with a brace, a very important and necessary step as he looks to become only the third player in Premier League history to win three consecutive Golden Boots. The other two are Prem Legends Alan Shearer and Thierry Henry, who were 24 and 26, respectively, when they won the first of their three Botas Doradas. Kane just turned 24 this past July and has two under the belt. To paraphrase another mildy entertaining movie, you’re [once again] a wizard, Harryyyy!

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The metric for team-building has always been to avoid the tippy top of defenders when it comes to price.  That problem is getting a lot harder this year as nine defenders are priced at 6.5 or higher, and another ten over 6.0.  We all like to save a buck here or there, but that is why I am here.  To buck the trend, come up with either really smart or really dumb ideas, or to just be some sort of comic relief in the world of FPL.  All of what I just said is true, it’s just in the eye of the beholder for smart/dumb ideas.  So this year I have seen the same trend and a lot of complaints from the FPL heads that defenders are too high and not worth it as they scour for usefulness in the lower tiers of pricing.  I am going the opposite way currently, and all it will cost you in the end is 2m bucks.  I got last years stats in my pocket, and I know they don’t always correlate. The beautiful thing here is that there are so many options on high priced defense that you aren’t committed to just go with the chalk guys.  Keep on reading… I made a fun chart for you to peruse, and will have more goodies after the jump!

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This is it folks, last round-up. Finish your pints and kindly please put your stools on top of the tables when you leave. In all seriousness though, it has been a pleasure to drop knowledge on you week in and week out for the FPL. I do it for the love of the beautiful game, you hopefully come for the fresh cold cuts and stay for the light sided humor. Either way you get me, and I hope I at least helped you at least once this year. So cheers for the read. On to the last week, plenty of fixtures that look tasty but how many transfers do we use post DGW and in most cases bench boost. I personally still have my all out attack chip and am on the fence if losing one defender is actually worth the extra attacker. Crazy, but defense is shifty consistent. My advice for this week would be to bring in as viable attackers as possible and let the scoring and the results of what could be a wild Sunday of fixtures. Go down with your guns out, shirt off and get that last yellow card for celebrating. So last and probably not least here are the week 38 FPL rankings. Enjoy!

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If you guessed from the title this week, this week is anyone’s guess.  Unfortunately, the locking system for starting XI isn’t evolved enough to give us enough time to adjust our rosters accordingly.  But with only a handful of teams with something to play for, hitting the right guy via the transfer wire is like throwing darts from 100 yards away.  With Liverpool and City still battling for Champions league spots, and Arsenal hoping for the best in those outcomes…  those games would be the high point of my interest as far as transfers go.  If you are close in your mini-league to moving up a few spots, don’t be afraid to take a gamble, you have to think obtusely in order to make up points this week.  You know why?  Because there is no tomorrow.  I mean, there is a tomorrow, but it doesn’t matter.  So go to the store buy a new set of balls, and get weird.  Here are some ideas for the week to get you through your transfer conundrum.  It has been a hell of a year, one last Cheers for ya!

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With time short in both this week and the season, we get right to the meat and potatoes.  Rankings will be fast and furious, as will the fantasy advice.  Two weeks remain in the season and with the double game week this week, it is almost the Mt. Everest of the FPL season.  So my transfer advice will be included in the intro to the rankings this week.  Find a differential if they possibly exist, watch out for possible rotations, and don not bring in anyone with a single game week.  I mean that all sounds simple and well and good from a fan of my writings so heed my advice this week.  Stick to your guns with player favorability, and do not be afraid to take a minus to bring in a DGW player at the expense of a -4.  The rationale behind that is that if a player does nothing but play minute you break even.  So anything they may do, or are expected to do that adds to their point total is money in your bank.  Not really but you get the idea.  So on to the ranks as the games start Friday, and they don’t stop until next Thursday.  Should be fun if you are into the whole soccer/football thing.  Good luck this week.  Cheers!

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The conclusion of the third match-week in less than 10 days is always fun for me because it actually allows me to do nothing with my life but rank, write, and then write some more. I do it all for the love people. So the one thing that jumped out to me for this week is that there might be a bit of rotation coming up for a few teams. Most notably Chelsea, and at least for this week, Leicester. Chelsea is basically 2-3 wins away from clinching the league title outright and may just start tinkering with their roster just enough to make it fantasy hell for everyone. So don’t be all surprised when it happens, Uncle Smokey told ya so. The second team is Leicester, who have a more important game in the Champions League coming midweek. Now they seem to be sorta safe from relegation and that tournament is way more important to them right now. Once again, I hope they don’t take Vardy or any useful pieces away, but anything can happen in FPL. Enjoy the Week 32 rankings and comments are always solicited. Cheers!

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Yikes folks, three-game weeks in 10 days and if you don’t have the need for adult diapers, now may be the time.  Excitement personified!  This is the last stretch run of games that come in succession like this for the rest of the year, and if you are big proponent of taking a minus and not having it affect you this is the time.  I say that because if you simply take a minus a week for the next 3 and set yourself up with one player for the week, and one for the DGW in 34 w/ United, Soton, and Palace… you will be ahead of the game and hold onto that coveted wildcard for the better looking DGW fixtures after Week 34.  But what the heck do I know? Enjoy the week.  Happy transferring and here are the Week 30 FPL rankings for all positions.  Cheers!

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Now that the back-enders are out of the way for Week 29, we can get down to the meat, potatoes and goal scorers. The quintessential fantasy meal. Getting the right set-up for midfielders is a lot harder than getting the forward ones correct right now. The options are seemingly endless, and given the shape, health and suspension levels going on in the forward ranks it is hard to get that right set for now and for the upcoming weeks. So play for now, grab for form, screw fixture through the middle. As far as the strikers go, it is kinda of weeded out for you through attrition really. With Kane and Ibra gone, it makes the forward ranks Lukaku, Costa, Manolo and maybe a roll of the dice with Sergio. Well, if you came for advice and ranks you came to the right place. Keep reading for the Week 29 Middies and Forward ranks. Cheers!

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The whole hub-bub this week will be to take a minus or not. I don’t care what other research of quadratic jargon that you peruse on a daily basis, that is the only question that matters. The quick answer here is do what you think is right by your team in setting yourself up to compete in Week 29. That is the more important question. This week is basically a wash and everyone, and I mean everyone is either working at a disadvantage to get a starting XI, or will take a minus to get there. The run out is more important than a four game slate that features a less then attractive depth solution to this week’s problem. Get your team to 9 and then if you want 10 at a minus 4, go for it. If not, relax, be on top of your team for Week 29 so you can bring in Kane or Costa. You can think about midfield with Hazard and Sanchez and defensively you should be all set and gambling with the guys who get you through Week 28 until you are ready to wildcard. I am no genius in this, it is all common sense. Don’t play follow the leader, play the I own my own FPL team game. Here are the sexy rankings for Week 28. Cheers!

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Last week’s sort of impromptu DGW by City and Stoke basically trashed the best laid plans of men. So this week with only four fixtures on the slate, it opens up the question of: Is it better to take a minus to roster a full team or just get the bare minimum and go at it as a unit of ten (or less)? The prospects of clean sheets eliminates the chase for defensive points, and with the amount of usable talent remaining on some of the other teams, maybe taking a minus in the full squad department isn’t such a bad idea. Taking minus to get yourself a full squad is not my recommendation, because there will be more teams in your predicament then not. So rest on your rostered laurels, make the minimum transfers you need to get yourself to a roster of nine or greater, and then attack Week 29 like it’s a brand new day. For those who are not in the same mind set here are some transfer ideas for the limited slate of Week 28. Cheers!

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