So I saw It over the weekend, and while I didn’t even come close to crapping my pants in fear (thanks hangover!), I’m about 99% sure that Harry Kane’s fear of August shares a creepy amount of commonalities with that homicidal crazed clown creature; both of them enjoy floating through open space (Kane on the pitch; the clown in a mind-altering expanse of sewer pipe only Mario would be jealous of), speaking in weird accents (seriously, listen to Harry Kane give an interview sometime), have an affinity for the color white (duh), and lastly, they both enjoy making red balloons go POP! (metaphorically speaking, that would be the hopes/dreams of all Gunner fans everywhere; FFS that’s not a spoiler! he’s a clown, he owns balloons!) Whether or not the fear of August (Augustamphobia?) has an actual effect on Kane’s past performances (it doesn’t), it’s good to see him conquering his “fears” and getting on the board with a brace, a very important and necessary step as he looks to become only the third player in Premier League history to win three consecutive Golden Boots. The other two are Prem Legends Alan Shearer and Thierry Henry, who were 24 and 26, respectively, when they won the first of their three Botas Doradas. Kane just turned 24 this past July and has two under the belt. To paraphrase another mildy entertaining movie, you’re [once again] a wizard, Harryyyy!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So we attack the long first break of the year with some Week 4 goodies. As we all know, the basis of any good team is a good defense.  Without it, the goal would just be pummeled with shots and no goalie to stop them, making the score infinite.  That for the sake of all that is holy doesn’t actually happen, so much like reality, fantasy has to have keepers and defense.  they round out every nutritious fantasy breakfast, and if played right can be more prosperous than some striker combinations.  For the sake of this week’s match-ups though, the teams with some normal fantasy usefulness are turned into just fodder.  I am staring glaringly obviously at the City/Liverpool match which kicks of this week’s action bright an early on Saturday morning.  So to start the week yesterday was Transfer ideas and targets and now come the cavalcade of rankings for your viewing pleasure.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Titles are the window to the articles soul.  So unless you are incapable of seeing an actual soul it is fairly cut and dry here.  Every week I look at the match-up, form and ownership of players, mix that with some common sense and a sprinkle of my own general “expertedness” and formulate a ranking system for you to use at home to help you build your FPL team from a week-to-week basis.  Sounds pretty simple, I mean the hardest thing you have to do is argue with them and actually read it.  So without further hullabaloo, here are the Week 3 rankings for the FPL, keepers and defense!

Please, blog, may I have some more?