When does one week feel like 2 whole weeks.  I will tell ya its the International House of Breaks, or IHOB.  It’s half as boring as the regular pancake joint, but won’t leave you looking for guiltless options.  It’s a pancake house, you knew why you went there…gorge.  Eat all the chocolate chip pancakes and other festive treats that they serve.  You deserve it for being patient and having to wait basically two weeks for league footie.  I have been chomping at the bit to get back into the swing of things and start the interesting stretch of games we have coming up.  Some weeks theres double games for multiple teams, like this one with QPR and Villa, or the upcoming weeks where for 3-4 weeks in a row it’s all about strategy.  That strategy starts here with Transfer Tuesday, so sit back put on your elastic waisted pants and gorge on the info for this week.

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Aloha loyal Razzból FC readers and my apologies for the brief hiatus, but Smokey and I have taken the International break as a time of reflection, vacation, and relaxation. So we can re-charge the batteries and be ready to bring you the best in FPL coverage over the remaining 8 weeks of the season. I know it’s been a hard week for all of us. No actually it hasn’t, sorry but I’ve been in Maui stationed under a cabana with a harem of models, drinking umbrella drinks and discussing the pacific rim economy and French art-house cinema. What can I say the life of a fantasy sports blogger is both glamorous, rewarding, and completely imaginary. Because I’ve been feeling so bad for all of my loyal followers, fiefs, and Kool-aid drinkers I’ve decided to bless you with a post discussing Mondogoal‘s Euro Qualifier contests running this weekend. The best part is they have not one but multiple GPP’s running. This is great way to fill the time and stay up to date on all the European happenings while you await the return or the Premiership or whatever your favorite league might be. So click here and join us on Mondogoal. Don’t worry about figuring out who to play in the difficult to navigate international landscape, just scroll down and check out my amazing picks for this week

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It’s week 30, it’s daily fantasy soccer, what else can be said.  Oh….it’s fun.  Those were the immortal words of DFS legend Scooter McGregor, a wise ole owl from the wonder bread section of West Boston.  He mastered the what and ifs of cashing on a regular basis.  I say all of this to you because I was bequeathed his magic handbook of how to do daily fantasy, specifically at Mondogoal.  This book, well it’s more like a pamphlet, ok it’s actually a doodle on the back of a business card.  Still it’s mine, and I will continue to give you the knowledge week in and week out.  Not only will I do that, I will come up with some cliched title every week that sounds like something that was and making it something that is.  Now to me that sounds fun, like zip-lining with harness type stuff.   So here are some suggestions, or ideas for this week in EPL.  Enjoy, comments or suggestions of your own are always cool, cool like Good Ole McGregor. Now play Mondogoal with us god damn it.

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So, as we do every match day, we’re giving you our loves and hates for this week in a segment called Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em.  You should know the drill but if you don’t, we each pick one option from each position, and then, for a bonus, we show you our genius line-ups for the week.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  The best part is, you get two opinions for the price of one.  We do this as a tandem, it’s the Smokey and Ralph show.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em Week 30 Fantasy Premier League.

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You see that in the distance, it’s kinda faint and it looks like it’s priced way too high.  That image you see is the mirage of a fantasy player in the £13.0 priced Sergio Aguero.  Now the fixtures have been in his favor, I get it.  This week is no change.  He faces a lesser club and the perceived value of him is kinda wonky for lack of better terms.  Yea everyone else owns him.  The number is above 90% for the top 1000 teams in FPL.  What has he done that you couldn’t have gotten elsewhere….for cheaper.  I mean for £13m I want him to open all my jars of mayonaisse, wash my car, and to be quite honest do more.  He has been captained more than most and ooh the double up on 2 points is great, but why?  I haven’t owned him for the past 7 weeks and I have been streaming forward with Olivier Giroud, who has outscored him 45-39, and I stress again at a discount.  Sometimes it’s good to swim with the fishes in the same direction.  With only 9 weeks to go before school is out, you should go the other way.  Let’s see what else is hopping on the good foot and doing the bad thing in the ranks of the goal scorers.  Cheers!

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It started out so perfect Alexis was everything we thought he’d be. Through the first 21 matchweeks Sánchez produced 9 weeks of 9 or more points. He and Eden Hazard were neck and neck for the highest scoring player in FPL. Then the injury happened, Alexis missed weeks 23 and 24 and in the 5 weeks since has produced only 1 goal and no assists. So what happened and where in the world is Alexis Sánchez? At this point I’m not even sure he’s worth owning, actually I am sure he’s not. At £11.4 you’re sinking a lot of sterling into a player that’s not producing. With 9 weeks left to sprint for the crown you need to be maximizing dollars. There’s a ton of value to be had and especially at the midfielder position. We have double weeks upcoming for Villa and QPR in week 31. The Double weeks for Chelsea and Leicester in week 34, and Arsenal and Sunderland have one as well in matchweek to be determined. So it’s a good time to prep for these double ups and the best or worst part about it is after Sunday you have two weeks to think about it. Before we get too far ahead of ourselves let’s focus on the matchweek ahead and rank the starting XI midfielders for Week 30 of Fantasy Premier League.

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Does anyone else find it eerily similar yet mildly amusing that both Thor and Bob Villa’s weapons of choice are a hammer.  Well it made me chortle to myself, like that guy watching those old tv sets at the train stations watching Night Court.  So with this week we have a few battles of top teams and if you aren’t a little excited about Liverpool vs United, then you need to check your passion level for fantasy and or general footie.  The other top defensive players have fairly manageable fixtures as Chelsea heads to Hull, and Southampton hosts a probably still drunk Burnley.  All players for those 2 teams are a steady play this week.  As is my number 2, Aaron Cresswell.  Son of a magician, born on the eve of the Feast of Adelaide is the spitting image of a cross between Tom Hanks son and dog the bounty hunter.  He gets the new skippered Sunderland, if you don’t remember last week they were basically sodomized by the Villains.   I expect it to be clean, neat and tidy for the Hammers as the Black Cats I think crossed in front of themselves and are doomed the rest of the way.  Here are the rest of my top XI defence rankings for the week of 30.

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Week 29 was a bad week for keepers. Maybe a worse week for my rankings. As my top rated keep got shelled, giving up four goals in an embarrassing beat down at the hands of…..Villa?!? Second half favorite man crush and Razzball favorite Ben Foster went down with injury and will now be lost for 4 weeks. But with tough breaks comes opportunity. That opportunity comes in the form of a £4.0 priced goalkeeper by the name of Boaz Myhill. Or as I like to call him Scaggs. Well Myhill gets to take the reigns of the good ship Tony Pulis known for track suit attire and clean sheet FPL fire. Yes I came up with that myself woooooo! Oh sure this week he gets City, fresh off a blanking at the hands of Burnley but I by no means expect the Citizens to be shutout again. So go ahead and stash him on your bench this week. BUT and that’s a big but, (Sir Mix-A-Lot walks in “Someone say big butt?” Huh? Get out of here Mix-A-Lot!!) he follows that up with home fixtures with QPR and Leicester in weeks 31 and 32. Please and thank you. That’s about as good a value as you’ll get. So ditch the Harts, Costel’s, Lloris’s, and De Gea’s and Lido Shuffle on over to the Low Down Boaz Myhill. Too many Boz Scaggs puns?

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Welcome to the St. Patrick’s day addition of Champions League daily soccer on Mondogoal. I mean what saint’s more appropriate to ring the final games of the round of 16’s second leg than a british kid captured by irish pirates that became a bishop. He also had a distaste for snakes. Funny so does Lionel Messi! Oh BTW, Messi also has a distaste for helping you win on Mondo, which is why he’s $27.7m. Yeah You can own Messi if you punt every other position. Good. Luck. With. That….So for the rest of my sane DFS sharks looking to feed on some Messi loving chum. The Legendary Smokey and I have spent cold, lonely hours researching the best picks on the board and we’ve brought them to you on a silver plater. Along with a few hearty slices of corned beef, a boiled potato, cabbage, a carrot, some soda bread, and a Guinness. If you’re a real pro you’re going to coat all that in some red wine vinegar, but what do I know? Oh yeah! I know you should click here and play some god damned Mondogoal with us. St. Patrick would, Roy Keane would, Bono would, hell even President Michael D. Higgins would. Do you think you’re above Roy Keane, a president, and two Saints? Oh Bono isn’t a saint yet? Could have fooled me!

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After re-watching the Chelsea match, Sadio Mane was easily the best forward option, or player in the fray up top for the Saints against a better Blues defence.  He now gets to turn his wheels against a Burnley squad that is living high off the hog after their defeat of City.  Pounce, now he isn’t a for every one pick but look at his next three fixtures after this one (@Everton, vs. Hull and @Stoke). Pretty interesting that you wouldn’t be wasting a transfer for a one week filler.  I mean what is Pelle going to do that he already hasn’t in the last 13 weeks, besides look slow lazy and uninterested.  I heard he already bought a house in a town called anywhere’s but Southampton.  Interesting place, shame that a Champions League team will actually invest in a player that has looked blah for 3 months. He will get to be in the tourney while the team that was headed there and one he could have lead there won’t. Mane is the most interesting man in a stagnant system which could use a lightning bolt from Senegal.

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