Is anyone else even a little disappointed that Daniel Sturridge is temporarily “healthy”? No not even a little? I say temporarily, because we all know a blade of grass might brush across his hamstring on Monday night, and send him to the physio table for an extended period. My hope for an extended Sturridge injury has nothing to do with my United fandom, or even a healthy dislike of Sturridge. It’s because there’s nothing better for Sterling and Coutinho’s value then a Sturridge on the sidelines. When either of them slips into the top position in the false nine formation employed so many times by Brendan Rodgers in Sturridge’s absence, the results have been good. In the weeks where Sturridge has played 45 minutes or less the pair have combined for 8 goals and 13 assists. Each has provided top value as a second or third midfield option in these weeks. Unfortunately Sturridge returned last week, dashing any and all hopes of a 7 week stretch to end the season without the Electric Worm in the lineup. Oh well, doesn’t mean he won’t get hurt 10 minutes in. Does England have any training sessions scheduled between now and Monday? Those are always good for a soft tissue injury for old Danny. Midfield rankings Week 32 ahead.

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The keepers of the back end are here.  When I used to have money I had armed guards protecting my back end.  Now since I lost all my money in the frozen concentrated orange juice market, I am resolved to preaching the world of fantasy-inomics to all of y’all. So technically it’s a windfall for all of us because where would I be with out you and versa visa.  This week has some really delicious fixtures that will line-up nicely with the stretch run of games.  Funny that 3 of the top 5 teams over the last six games face off against 3 of the bottom five this week.  That is like walking down the street and having the master key to all the parking meters.  Quarter after quarter.  You get richer step by step, just don’t get caught because you get thrown in the clinker and Big Bob gets first dibs.  Here’s the defender rankings for the week of 32, which if you subtract the digits you get one so that’s where I will start the rankings…at one.  Makes total sense now go get your helmets on so you don’t get hurt.

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Few clubs in the Premiership have been playing the quality of football that Arsenal have played of late. They’ve won 7 consecutive and only given up 5 total goals along the way. Life is easy when you’re David Ospina. Not only does he see very little action in and around his net. He also doesn’t have to face the high powered Arsenal attack. The downside is this can make things a bit boring, just ask Wojciech Szczesny. He took to Dr. Hackington’s cancer sticks to pass the time. So Arsene Wenger gave him a signature ashtray on the bench. I wonder if he has a cup holder? I prefer alcohol with my cigs. But different strokes and all that. Let’s hope Ospina is wiser with his hobbies of choice. Since taking his place as the #1, the Colombian is 2nd among keepers in points per game at 4.2. Only that tall glass of water Costel Pantilimon averages more, and it’s by just a smidgen at 4.3. With a week 32 matchup with Burnley upcoming and an off week in MW 33. Ospina and the Gunners should be FPL gold. So get up with the North London guns and tell your league mates to run the jewels.

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This is by far my second funnest post of the week.  It’s all about spoken word and speculation.  Sorta like listening to guys spit daily fantasy advice, and you telling yourself that guy sounds legit.  I bet he totally doesn’t have a special seat on his mom’s old couch in the basement.  The point I am saying is you can’t trust everyone, hell I am untrustworthy, I always leave the toilet seat up and never, ever prevent forest fires.  I am just Smokey.  Plain and simple.  You can listen to dudes we affectionately call the Cumulus Nimbus or the Kool Aid guy. But that will only get you in a pickle.  No one want’s that.  So this week is the wake after the double but before the tsunami.  Next week is the abyss we call roster damnation with 4 clubs on hiatus and filling a roster without getting that dreaded minus 4 points starts this week.  Whether you like to hear that or not it’s the truth.  The rest of the season if you wanna really play starts this week, and here’s your first prep of week 32.  It’s Transfer Tuesday, go tell your friends.

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The name says it all, this week Mondogoal has the guaranteed opportunity to win a signed kit of the Premier leading Chelsea.  Not only my team but countless others.  It’s footie, it’s gambling for money and prizes what could be better.  I will tell ya what..nothing.  Besides maybe an all you can eat buffet of caramels.  MMMm caramels.

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So, as we do every match day, we’re giving you our loves and hates for this week in a segment called Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em.  You should know the drill but if you don’t, we each pick one option from each position, and then, for a bonus, we show you our genius line-ups for the week.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  The best part is, you get two opinions for the price of one.  We do this as a tandem, it’s the Smokey and Ralph show.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em Week 31 Fantasy Premier League.

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It’s Week 31 the first in a string of upcoming double weeks and the forwards have all the value for this week’s two-timing clubs. Of course I’m talking about those handsome devils Chuck Austin and Christian Benteke. I couldn’t blame you for bringing in one or both this week to try and exploit those sexy double up points. I know I’m sexualizing these two like Nacer Chadli covered in baby oil. What can I say? I love some forward double up and you should too. Benteke is finding his form and Chuckie has been the biggest surprise of the FPL season outside Harry Kane. After all we’re talking about the 4th highest scoring forward in Austin and the 2nd highest form rated forward in Benteke. Forward Ranks Week 31 good luck lads!

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Is there anything in sports like the International break? A two week period where some players get time to rest, relax, and refocus, while others do twice the work in the name of national pride. With this in mind I’m pushing Eden Hazard down a spot or two after featuring twice in the last 7 days for Belgium. We call that a Belgian dip, it’s how they do it in Belgium. Hazard played 70 minutes in the the Red Devils (yes that’s Belgium’s nickname) thumping of Cyprus, and 63 minutes in their 1-0 victory over Israel. I expect Hazard to play but wouldn’t be shocked if he’s subbed in the 70th minute or so of Chelsea’s home match with Stoke. In other Week 31 news of importance we have double weeks for Villa and QPR, but you already knew that if you read yesterday’s keeper and defender rankings….go read them now! We don’t do this for the entertainment of each each other for Christ sakes it’s for your benefit. Don’t worry I’ll say my 6 Our Fathers and 3 Hail Mary’s for taking the lord’s name in vain. Middle men rankings Week tres- uno.

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Real actual players, is this a dream or is this reality.  I have been entrenched in straight baseball with a mix of footie for the better part of 10 days and didn’t know whether you kicked a baseball or hit a soccer ball with a bat.  This week has the delightful double match week, well sort of.  From a fantasy perspective, well defense wise it looks like it is a crap shoot at best.  Do you know who wins when you throw crap?  The person who doesn’t actually have to touch the crap.  Hence why my recommendations this week are to steer clear of the 2 match games this week for both Villa and the QPR.  Their are plenty of better options out there and good match-ups abound for the top 5 season scoring leaders, so I would exploit the hierarchy of the defensive corps.  Just makes too much sense.  Using the shaky defenses of Villa and QPR might net you 2 points as I don’t see any of the 4 games they both play ending in zeroes.  Enjoy the week to come, as always more to come this week.  Rankings, start/sit advice, free balloon animals for the kids.  You know that general good natured type stuff.  Cheers

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Sayonara Fraser Forster we hardly knew ya. Nine minutes into Southampton’s 2-0 win over Burnley in Week 30 Fraser Forster was chopped down and ruptured his patellar tendon. Ugh! Looks like the mighty tree will now be lost until 2016. Seriously it was that bad. So now fantasy footie managers by the hundreds of thousands are left scrambling, looking to the next man up to fill their box (…hehe fill their box!)  Will they look to Double F’s replacement in Kelvin Davis?  Maybe, he’s priced handsomely at £4.4 and already has one clean sheet under his belt.  He’s also stepping into the top defensive squad in the game, as the Saints have only allowed 21 goals in 30 matches.  Let’s be honest, because everything before this was lies and half truths.  Forster was never the reason for Southampton’s success.  We probably could have had a promotional cutout of Vin Diesel from Furious 7 and they would have allowed fewer goals than half the clubs in the Premiership.  Lucky for us Davis is an actual person with working extremities! So he’s my pick to be a top ten keeper the rest of the way and slide nicely into Forster’s regular spot in the starting XI.

While we’re at it I’d be remiss not to mention another injury that happened in the tail end of Keep-nado 2015, other wise know as FPL weeks 28-30. We lost Hugo Lloris to a knee injury as well. I’m still unsure of his exact return date but he looks to be out at least be this week. So former Swansea keeper Michel Vorm’s value is more of a one week temporary thing. Though a matchup with Burnely looks tasty. But enough about the walking wounded and the men sleeping in their beds and wearing their favorite pajamas in their absence and onto the Goalkeeper Rankings for Week 31 of FPL.

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