Are you ready?  No I do not blame you one bit.  If you aren’t accustomed to boringness with the back-enders then I do not know what to tell you.  The defence and keeper section of the rankings is always a ball and rank ’em affair for me personally.  Yeah it is fun bringing informative opinionated diatribes of word-smithing, but we all want the meat and potatoes.  The Middies and Strikers.  We want it like a diabetic who sneaks candy.  That is all the enthusiasm I can muster this week for the rear end of fantasy type rankings.  We can all type about something else, things that really burn our bridges….How about how many of our spouses has John Terry banged, and then speculate on where Wayne Bridge is now.  That has some correlation to fantasy defence.  He is a defender of sorts for a team that has lost its way like that puppy from Billy Madison.  I like getting sidetracked it makes this whole thing more fun, while you wait to get to the rankings.  So without further adieu here are the week 12 rankings for keepers and defence.  Cheers.

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Yup, I am unfortunately the bearer of bad news, I mean someone has to be “that Guy”.  I do take some kind of joy out of it, because let’s be honest it takes a special kind of a-hole to be “that guy”.  Ralph knows I am that guy, the bearer of bad anything, the most likely to say something inappropriate, blame a fart on the dog…yeah him.  With the week 12 games comes another break in action, this is like a strategy kick in the you know whats.  Just when you get into a comfortable roster rotation, guys picked out for multiple weeks then BAM.  The risk of injury hits.  Let’s just hope that it isn’t a continuation of the other Fantasy Football wrath of injuries that have happened.  So this week is a stay sound make square moves to the good and don’t risk it on guys who have one good fixture week. Wasting a free transfer is like using a 20% off coupon for a dollar purchase, but having two for the week after the Int’l break seems to me like the best piece of advice that anyone who calls themselves anything of an expert to do. So don’t give into the itch, wait for the injury fairy to rear its ugly head (because it’s going to happen in some way) and then attack week 13 in 3 weeks with the vigor of a man/woman with twice the buying power.  Here’s a list just because I need something to talk about from guys who could be worth monitoring, or if you don’t wanna listen to me.  Cheers!

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Every so often a player has a week so inexplicable so unexplainable, it just can’t be reasoned with sense. In the aftermath of weeks like this desperate owners with brains made of clearance price hamburg meat add these players in droves. That my friends is exactly where we are at in the aftermath of Arouna Kone‘s hat trick. A week ago no one would have labeled this guy a starter, let alone someone capable of a tossing the twine thrice. Don’t be one of the 23,000 lemmings that already brought him in. Stay strong and heed my words of advice. Don’t get stuck in the muck and avoid Kone at all costs. Protect your team, raise awareness about #Kone2015. If you’re in a draft format and feel like burning a wavier claim on him, be my guest, but I’d be careful about setting lofty expectations. He could just as easily be out of the side in two weeks. Worth a speculative add in those formats though.

Here’s what else I saw in Gameweek 11…

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We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em.  You should know the drill but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position, and then, for a bonus, we show you our genius line-ups for the week.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  The best part is, you get two opinions for the price of one.  We do this as a tandem, it’s the Smokey and Ralph show.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em Week 11….

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A Thursday stalwart, the rankings we all yearn for.  The guys who get the glory, the chicks, and all the transfer love weekly.  It’s the Midfielders and Forward rankings for week of the FPL.  Anyone who has dyslexia and read the previous sentence saw glory and chicks and instantly their minds went wild.  Most men can identify with the casting couch better than they can identify with their own.  We pay attention to detail when the detail is free.  So the match-ups this week are very, very juicy with multiple fixtures that lead me to believe that the scoring this week will be a smorgasbord of fantasy euphoric bliss.   The three matches you should key in on are Arsenal @ Swans, West Ham @ Watford and Norwich @ Man City, if you don’t own one, multiple or several multiples of the three teams that are favored to win then you better hop on the good foot and do the bad thing (or Good),  Here’s week 11’s top middies and strikers for the FPL.

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Each and every gameweek when Smoke Dog and I do these rankings, the first thing we do is check out the roster of games. We scan through and pick out the matches we feel have the highest probability for clean sheets, high goal totals, and potential trap games for FPL stars. Then you dig deeper into the historical numbers and so on. Unfortunately the weeks where you can identify multiple clean sheet opportunities are few far between. That’s what makes Matchweek 11 so unique, there’s literally half a dozen fixtures with clean sheet upside. Seriously look at the slate of games, City vs Norwich, Stoke @ Newcastle, West Ham @ Watford, Everton vs Sunderland, and Spurs vs Villa. Not too shabby, and I didn’t even include Leicester coming off their first clean of the season traveling to the Hawthorns. It’s a virtual cornucopia of options for CS, my over the internet friends. Will all these matches end with zeros on the right side of the scoresheet? Hell to the no. So let’s rank’em out and pickup the pieces after. Whaddaya say? Fantasy Premier League Rankings Week 11 for Keepers and Defence.

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Sit with me if you will, and let’s separate time and space.  It was an eerily similar time last year when Harry Kane in all his cheap priced goodness sat on the bench waiting for the time to shine.  It is almost exactly one year to the date give or take a week or so.  We can do that, we are all friends and stuff, fake fantasy friends.  He was an under-utilized, under-valued (or so we found out) and soon to be roster darling.  He ended the year with 21 net bulges and tons of unregistered bulges from all the COYS rooters.  So here we are now, Kane was basically overpriced for his production to date, until this week happened and everyone is sitting with £3-4m in their kitty from the roster expunging of Kun. So the big question is do you and at what cost.  Vardinho needs to stay in your lineup, so avert your eyes elsewhere.  He falls into that secondary striker mode a la Pelle and Lukaku. Kane’s schedule is decent enough for the next 10 matches that you may want to roster now, enjoy the roster salary boost and then re-assess after week 19.  So that is my main advice this week, if you are looking for a “ride or die” option up top for the foreseeable future, then The Hurricane is your man.  For those of you not sold and may need help elsewhere, here’s some decent match-up and form based transfer assessments for ya.  Cheers!

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All it took was a visit to the friendly confines of Vitality Stadium. Only appropriate that a building named Vitality would be the place where the mighty Harry Kane’s season springs to life. That last sentence is the exact way I would start a post if I wrote for the Bleacher Report. Then again I did write it and include it in my post, so maybe I’m no better. Regardless, in what has become a weekly feature of the Premier League, Bournemouth shipped goals left and right. A season that started with so much promise for the Cherries is now slipping away. The lesson to be taken from the past two weeks is this, “Target attackers in matchups with Bournemouth”. As for the obvious Harry Kane question, is he back? The answer is simple, he never really went away in the first place. The chances were there, he just wasn’t finishing them. Hopefully this will boost his confidence and get Harry back on the good foot. Don’t forget he didn’t even begin scoring until November of last year, so we’re a few weeks ahead of last season’s pace as crazy as that sounds. So is he worth transferring in at £9.2? Sure, I can see jumping on the discount and moving out Pelle, Lukaku, or Martial. You know Kane is starting every week, and we witnessed what a confident Kane could do last term. So snatch him up before the price jumps, next week’s home fixture vs a manager-less Villa makes the move even more appealing. Here’s what else I saw in Matchweek 10.

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Decision Day 2015 is upon us and, surprisingly, has nothing to do with politics or even Donald Trump. Sunday marks the final day of the MLS regular season and there is much still to be decided. Which team out of Portland, San Jose, Seattle, and Sporting KC will be left out of the playoffs? Will it be the Red Bulls or FC Dallas that lay claim to the Supporters’ Shield? Which teams grab the knockout round byes?

It’s the biggest DFS slate of the year for MLS with all 20 teams playing Sunday afternoon and evening. Personally, I won’t have a ton of skin in the game as I’ll actually be in attendance at Sporting Park watching Sporting KC take on the Galaxy though I’ll have to get some action this week. Because of the full slate, we’ll look at a variety of players to target without getting too in-depth. I’ll only be targeting players on teams that have something to play for as I don’t trust the already-eliminated teams to field normal starting lineups.

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We’re once again giving you our loves and hates for each week in a segment called Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em.  You should know the drill but if you don’t, we pick one option from each position, and then, for a bonus, we show you our genius line-ups for the week.  Pretty cut and dry, and quite simply… basic.  The best part is, you get two opinions for the price of one.  We do this as a tandem, it’s the Smokey and Ralph show.  It’s like musical chairs, without all the screaming kids and regretful feeling of loss. So sit back, relax, and have a look at who we would start and sit based on match-ups and value. It’s Fantasy Premier League Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em Week 10….

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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