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On June 2, 1988, Diego Maradona flew home to Buenos Aires after a long season with Napoli. Maradona was tired, and looking to unwind after yielding the Serie A Championship to A.C. Milan. With the desire to explore the unknown, and maybe bag a little strange, he headed to a club in the Las Cañitas section of the city by the name of the Kum Kum Room. After a long night of champaign and fine Colombian marching powder, Maradona stumbled home. As he shuffled one intoxicated step after another, he stopped to pee in the bushes outside a three-family home. While relieving himself in the well groomed shrubbery of Mr and Mrs. Antonio Aguero, he heard the cries of a newborn baby coming from the second floor of the home. In a cocaine-fueled delusion of grandeur, Maradona raised his right hand in the air and bestowed a divine sanction on the newborn babe. He then joyfully proclaimed: “May he be known as Kun!”

Fast forward 26 years, and that baby is now the father of Diego Maradona’s grandchildren, and one of the deadliest strikers in all of Europe. Yesterday afternoon, Sergio “Kun” Aguero had one of those vintage Maradona type of games. The Argentine scored all four of Manchester City’s goals, as the the Citizens outclassed Tottenham from start to finish. Aguero’s first goal was a thing of beauty, as he shook Younès Kaboul out of his boots, and belted a low hard strike past Hugo Lloris to the far right corner. His second and third goals came on penalties to the low left corner, that Lloris guessed terribly wrong on, both times. His coup de grâce came on his fourth and final goal, as he took a long pass down the right wing, made a move on Jan Vertonghen, and put a beautiful strike off his left foot into the far corner of the net. In the process of putting up a hat trick plus one yesterday, Aguero also became Manchester City’s all-time leading premier league scorer, passing Carlos Tevez on his second goal of the day. I think it goes without saying, when Aguero is healthy and in form, he’s one of the top two or three fantasy players in the Premier League. If you don’t own Diego Costa, Aguero, or Wayne Rooney as one of your strikers, you’re doing it wrong.

Hugo Lloris – He was beaten all day like a rented mule. I’m not sure I can blame Lloris entirely, as the Spurs defense was atrocious. Still, four goals is way too many against a top team. I thought this guy was one of the elite keepers of Europe? It’s his third year in the EPL, and I’m just not convinced he’s elite. Then again, he did have 8 saves and scored 8 points despite allowing four goals. So if you own him, you didn’t hate yesterday the way, say, Vito Mannone’s owners did.

Christian Eriksen – The one bright spot in today’s game for Tottenham was Eriksen’s play. The young Dane has developed into one of the better attacking midfielders in the Premier League, and is still only 22. He was hands down the best buy that came from last years Post-Bale Sale spending spree. I like him more ROS than Raheem Sterling, Oscar, and a bunch of other guys that will cost you more.

Roberto Soldado – On the opposite side of the spectrum, the biggest bust of the Post-Bale Sale spending spree was up to his old hijinks, as he was denied a goal from the spot on a brilliant save by Joe Hart. The Valencia legend just hasn’t come as advertised since his £17 million switch. He’s long been one to avoid in fantasy, and nothing has changed.

Oscar dos Santos Emboaba Júnior  – Scored on a brilliant free kick to the top corner 6 minutes into Chelsea’s match with Crystal Palace. He also had a brillant setup on Cesc Fabregas’ first Chelsea goal early in the second half. When Oscar is on he reminds me of vintage Kaka. He’s unfortunately a tough player to own in fantasy due to the depth of the Blues midfield ranks.

Diego Costa – Burning his many fantasy owners, including myself, as he was held out. This move was more than likely designed to keep him well rested for this week’s Champions League clash with NK Maribor. Jose Mourinho was coy when asked about a potential return date for Costa. My advice is: don’t sweat it, keep Costa in your lineups, and let the auto-sub replace him.

César Azpilicueta – Was sent off for a terrible challenge on Mile Jedinak. Chelsea was only down a man for two minutes as Damien Delaney picked up his second yellow card to even the sides at 10 a piece. He’ll now be out of the lineup for the next three matches. It might be worth moving on to Filipe Luis until Azpilicueta returns.

Frazier Campbell – Scored on a beautiful pass by Wilfried Zaha after he nutmegged Filipe Luís in the 89th minute. At a price of £5.2, Campbell is a great buy as a third striker. He already has three goals and has always had a nose for the net. Strikers like Campbell that come at a low price with an abundance of opportunity, are the difference makers for the top fantasy teams in the Premier League overall standings.

Alexis Sanchez – The former Barcelona man was one of the most hyped transfers of the very busy offseason. Looking to piggyback off a strong showing at the World Cup with Chile, Sanchez just hasn’t been that… dirty?!?… Well his first half goal to open the scoring was a step in the right direction. He came down the right wing into the box, burned Curtis Davies, and buried a shot past Steve Harper.

Eldin Jakopović – Hull City’s third string keeper came in for Steve Harper after Allan McGregor’s backup left with a shoulder injury. Depending on the severity of McGregor’s and Harper’s injuries, this could leave Jakopović the only healthy goalie on the Tiger’s roster in Week 9. Not a bad buy next round in weekly leagues.

Danny Welbeck – The former Manchester United forward continued his redemption tour as he scored the game tying goal 24 seconds into added time. This wasn’t the first time that Welbeck’s scored a goal to save Arsene Wegner’s bacon, and won’t be the last. Right now Welbeck is very ownable second striker, and an affrodable option at £7.3. Where was this last year Danny? Oh yeah! Buried on the bench or stuck out of position on the wing.

Mohamed Diame – Scored on a great strike 17 minutes in to tie the game. At a price of £5.4, and with 4 goals under his belt, Diame is the perfect 4th or 5th midfielder for your team. Go get him…..

Leighton Baines – One of my favorite players and long one of the top fantasy defenders was up to his old tricks again. As he put a perfect cross into the box on Phil Jagielka</strong>’s goal. Then setup Seamus Coleman’s goal on a brilliant left footed cross.

Romelu Lukaku – The young Belgian slipped his 3rd goal of the season past Brad Guzan, on a ball that Guzan should have had. Oh well, as a Lukaku owner I’ll take it. I don’t care what Chelsea fans say, I think Mourinho gave up on the kid too early.

Gabriel Obertan – Scored the lone goal in what was the most boring game of the day by a substantial margin. Seriously! Other than Obertan’s goal, the most exciting thing to happen at St. James Park yesterday was when overweight Toons fan Buckley Lamer unknowingly relived himself from the comforts of his seat in the 27th row. Considering it a good luck charm the Tyneside club’s supporters have pledge to relive themselves at their seats the rest of the season until the club loses again. So in other words it will happen one more time next week and then never again.

Diafra Sakho – Now tied for fourth in the EPL after his first half strike yesterday. The Hammers did a good bit of business signing the Senegalese forward to a four year contract before the season. You can do a good bit of business for yourself by adding him to your team at the low, low price of £5.6.

Vito Mannone – Hey Vito! You gave up 8 goals brah! That’s a bad look my dude. There are sickly and abused circus animals that look less exploited. Southampton just ran roughshod on Sunderland yesterday. If you own Mannone or any Sunderland defenders I’ m sorry….really, really sorry. No one should have to deal with that pain. Well, look at the bright side after yesterday’s pounding you now have a new place to hide your Coca-Cola can safe….

Graziano Pellé – Notched his 5th and 6th goal and setup another as he continues to impress in his inaugural Premier League season. Since arriving from Feyenoord in August, Pellé has allowed the Saints followers to quickly forget all about Rickie Lambert. Humff, Rickie Lambert….

Dusan Tadic – The only player better than the Serbian midfielder yesterday was Sergio Aguero. Tudic lead the charge in Southampton’s 8-0 route of Sunderland, as he tallied 3 assists and a goal on the afternoon. He’s currently tied for first in the premier league with 7 assists and is third in total points behind only Sergio Aguero and Diego Costa. Who knew the Saints would sell the middle of their lineup to Liverpool and actually get better?

Eduardo Vargas – Got the Tom Horton’s special in this game A double goal and a double own goal.  The Horton’s one taste’s better and is much easier to swallow.  Vargas is a pretty neat little bargain at his price of 6.4, I mean who is going to score for the R’s.  Thanks Bobby, but we are good.

Wilfried Bony – Got hacked up by the always precision tackling skills and netted himself a PK goal to make the Swans look a little better than they did as they conceded to goals.  Swans are winless in their last five but look to get fat next week against a falling Leicester.  Bony seems a little over-priced for a guy averaging less than 3 pts per match.

Sandro Raniere Guimarães Cordeiro – Is injured yet again, the high priced signing can’t seem to stay fit.  Which is sad because he is a talented and QPR needs all they can get.  The R’s seem to be a little snake bit by injury right now and are a team to look for bargains as they take on Villa next week.

 

  1. millenball says:
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    This is fantastic! Thanks for the write up and expanding the site even further!

    Might have to join a league now. Never played fantasy ‘soccer’ before.

    To Lloris’ defense, two of those 4 goals were penalty kicks. and he actually saved a third (so it could have been even worse). Agreed that Spurs had a very porous back end vs City. But you couldn’t have expected an elite performance when they traveled to Emirates, as Spurs haven’t shown up to a match in the last two seasons vs. a Top club.

    with all that said. COYS!

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @millenball: Thanks for reading, while I agree on Lloris, his guesses were so off on both of Aguero’s PK’s it’s tough not to at least find some fault on the second goal. I also don’t give him any credit for the saved penalty because it was right down the pipe and he kicked out an atrocious email that Aguero almost volleyed into the net.

      He’s a solid goalie but not all-world.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @millenball: cheers thanks for the words and as a Chelsea fan thanks for Willian. Spurs looked 2 steps behind on defense and Aguero had the looks to score ten. Lol.

      • millenball says:
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        @Smokey:

        agreed, he’s not world class, but he’s more than decent.

        spot on about soldado, but i think a lot of that has to do with formation, he is being utilized completely different than in Valencia. but that investment is looking mighty bad.

        is it wrong to think Eriksen will leave? poch has his work cut out for him to get back into the top 5, they’ve left quite a bit of points on the table to start the season

        lastly, it stings seeing Sanchez doing well, and especially for the gunners no less, along with Spurs, I support Udinese (dad’s hometown), if only their business model wasn’t to sell of players for profit all the time. maybe when the new stadium is built they will alter their practice slightly.

        bernahino!

        • Ralph Lifshitz

          Ralph Lifshitz says:
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          @millenball: First off Berahino! Damn it all to hell, this United defense is putrid.

          Agreed Lloris is good not great.

          Right you are about Soldado but he still gives them nothing.

          Of course Eriksen will leave, he’s good young, and plays for Spurs. They couldn’t keep a good young talented player, what sense does that make? I just hope for the sake of the EPL and the football world he doesn’t go to Chelsea or Man City and ride the bench.

  2. Garreth says:
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    Which fantasy game(s) will you be covering on this new, expanded Razzball? Are you mainly focussing on the fantasy.premierleague.com game, or including others run by other sites/newspapers and the like?

    Finally after a couple of years as a Brit leaching some good baseball advice from this site I might have a bit of valuable input to offer.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Garreth: mainly the premier league fantasy as it Is the standard or sort of for fantasy footie. Glad you’re aboard for the ride Gareth.

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