It’s a new day ladies and germs and welcome to the most important of all posts THE MIDFIELDER RANKINGS! That should be said with your best important news voice. If you don’t have one just yell as loud as you can. See, now everyone knows you’re insane, I go through this routine twice a day. Keeps people at arms length, can’t say my many former employers were so crazy about it though. Now that I’ve provided you were an effective life hack, lets get back to FPL, shall we? This week we welcome back two of my favorite midfield stalwarts in David Silva and Angel Di María. Both are returning from injury, and both factor heavily into their club’s attack. Some will tell you to wait a week on a player like Di María but that ain’t my style. Dangers my middle name, and I’m always taking chances, and not following “the rules”. I smoke at gas stations, rip tags off of mattresses, and never use protection with your mom. Dangerous right? If you want to be like me then go ahead and pop the Angel of María into your lineup. Trust me…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I don’t have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!

Well hello there, footie fans.  Welcome to Week 17 in the fantasy session, and we are almost to the half-way point.  This means two things, SANTA and a free wild card is closer and closer to you if your roster is just an abomination.  Fret not.   That’s why we are here, to revive you just in time to get yourself ready for the upcoming 3 games in 8 days… again.  Some people hate the Christmas schedule, and managers have already been yapping about resting chaps right and left.  Combat this by staying ahead of the game and listening to Rice Krispies.  They talk to me, and that’s where I get all my rankings from.  So stick with Razzbol fantasy content for all your rankings, start/sit and transfer advice. But for now, just stick with the Week 17 defender ranks.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This week Brendan Rodgers pulled the coup of all coups and sent star keeper Simon Mignolet to the stands. It didn’t go so well, as Bradley Jones looked like an Orca whale washed up on a beach. As Manchester United took full advantage of the space provided by Liverpool’s discombobulated back line, to fruitful results, despite being outplayed by the Reds. Jones flopped from side to side, guessing badly on goals by Wayne Rooney and Robin Van Persie. Maybe Rodgers is over looking the simple fact that his defense constantly leaves his keeper, whoever it maybe, out to dry. With this said I will be banishing all Liverpool keepers from the rankings until further notice. Not exactly earth shattering for this week, as they face Arsenal, but it needs to be said. We also had a Petr Cech sighting over the weekend. The former Chelsea número uno had an easy go against Hull City, as the Tigers failed to put any of their 8 shots on target. The man who took his job, Thibaut Courtois, should be back in goal for the Blues this weekend. If for some reason he didn’t rest his groin enough (damn models), then Cech slips into the Belgian’s spot on the hot 11 keeper countdown below. Enough of the Bullocks onto the Goalkeeper Rankings for Matchweek 17.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s the best post of the week!  No, not because I wrote it, but thanks for all the praise in the “I can’t hear you” internet universe.  We all like goals who ping the net.  They are the big hitters in golf or baseball.  The guy who dunks better in the NBA.  Chicks are drawn to the guys who do it, and that is scoring goals.  We want see them celebrate and give us the points that they get for scoring.  I mean, that’s why we play fantasy, correct?  To bask in the effortless glow of point-and-clicking, and having that guy do it for my team from week-to-week.  This week we are approaching 4 days AA (After Aguero), and as we sit with £12m in our hands, we want the same comfort that Kun is going to give us.  Quick answer: there isn’t the same kind of talent that is a set it and forget it forward.  It is more of a play match-up and hope he nets one for your club.  Transfer wisely.  Enjoy the forward rankings for Week 16.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Do you feel that? Can you feel the ground underneath you moving? Of course you do. It’s the remaining tremors from all the shake ups, shifts, and mini-earthquakes in the Premiership over the last week plus. We’ve seen the top player go down, watched a few unexpected results at Newcastle and Stoke, and we’ve had some real shake ups in our midfield rankings. See what I did there? I made our midfield rankings seem as important as the Agüero injury. Self importance is a prime characteristic here at Razzball FC. As my high school manager always said “If you don’t think you’re the best, who will?” Cue the Rocky music, lower the punching bag and let’s knock these rankings out.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well hello there footie fans.  Lots of juicy-juicy match-ups this week for the defense of the goal front.  Lots of teams playing favorable fixtures at foes that can’t defend their home pitch or literally get off the bus on travel with a loss already.   This week you will notice a lot of the more familiar fantasy stalwarts at the top of my rankings.  They are there because just look at their matches…. all of them are in their favor, which for you, me, and the man down the street, are a good thing.  So if you have the transfer free from the whole Kun fallout, then by all means, upgrade to the guys praying for the clean sheet.  We present to you the Week 16 Defender Rankings… enjoy.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After two match weeks worth of lists we’re back with our full fledged rankings. Be honest, you missed these. You missed them like the deserts miss the rain, or the way club kids of the early 90’s hear that song and miss their youth. Remember ecstasy isn’t just a drug, it’s a feeling. But that’s all besides the point. So what is the point? Well, the point is the rankings are back and we’re kicking them off with the backbone of the starting 11, the keeper. I could sit here and type 100 words about why keepers are important and all types of boring stuff but instead I’ll just say this, CLEAN SHEETS RULE EVERYTHING AROUND ME. SCREAM get the money, Leicester – Sunderland Y’all?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After 3 Matchweeks in the course of nine days we’ve truncated the rankings into these short easy to read versions. I like using the term “easy to read” because it takes a positive spin on “we’re too lazy to write full rankings so you’re getting these sucka!” I mean seriously do you care what we think, in depth, about the 11th ranked keeper for the week? Which is why going forward most of my content will consist of fart jokes and bad puns…Terrible puns. Only one hurdle on that one, I’m not sure what the Exec’s out on the West Coast would think so I’ll stick to Soccer/Football/Futbol/AHHHHHHH. The last one is what my Wife’s Uncle says when anyone talks about soccer/football/futbol/ahhhhhhh. Don’t worry we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming next week with the full rankings. So until then, I bid you adieu.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Short week, and the rankings need to be rushed.  So instead of two long drawn out days of you sitting on your computer hitting refresh, you get them all in one gigantic list, plus some word of genius for each group.  Free of charge, naturally.  So get your transfers in, because the games start in 24 hours.  Go do it now!  Wait, you might as well finish reading this and then compare and contrast like the vision test you take at the optometrist.  So with the short week, we give you an all in one look at this week’s rankings.  Stay tuned because this roller coaster goes around again in three days.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ah, the day after eating way too much and the day before Week 13 starts…  I mean I know I couldn’t think of another way to rejoice in my over-carbed out body then to sleep, grab a pint and chill.  It’s kinda like waiting for the great pumpkin bit a week too late, and it’s the 13th week.  Okay, that literally made no sense, but sounded funny when aided by sangria and some sort of schnapps. So this week we have some tasty match-ups for some of the top league scorers. Costa and his whoop-stick take on Sunderland as the Blues try to take revenge on the last time Mourinho was undefeated and the Black Cats ended it.  It isn’t gling to be pretty, as this is one time I see Mourinho not so much parking the bus but driving it over the cats and circling the bus to do it again.  Line-ups without Costa or your max three Chelsea players tis week are at a disadvantage in my book.  So here are the Week 13 Forward Rankings, enjoy!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Page 3 of 512345