It’s like Tuesdays with Morrie, but with Fantasy Soccer stuff involved.  All dressed up in cool kits, and sparkly boots.  The transfer time is always an important day of the week.  It’s the first day that we preemptively get you geared up for the upcoming fantasy footsie week with some notes on early guys to look at.  Yeah, I know, it’s too early in the week to be thinking about transfers, but this is a beginner stage to the week where we go through positional rankings, and the build-up to holding hands.  Baby steps. Remember what my pappy always said: “Spooning leads to forking.” He was referencing a four-course meal, but secretly I was picking up what he was laying down.  So some interesting top-tiered teams take on some bottom dwellers this week and that to me screams fantasy goodies.  I am particularly looking for an underwhelming Arsenal side to date, hosting Burnley and Liverpool, then traveling to Newcastle.  Both Arsenal and Liverpool have some overpriced guys based on year-to-date production, the key is finding the ones that will feature and who will improve play this week.  So keep on doing what you are doing, that would be reading and checking out my early diatribe on who to keep an eye on this week for your transfer…

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Ever upward…  That’s the state motto of New York.  (Although it’s done in Latin, and I’m only fluent in Sanskrit.)  The forward position is the sexiest, highest scoring, most Captained position in fantasy EPL.  That’s why they are so expensively sexy.  This isn’t where you lose it, but it sure doesn’t help when you don’t have the right combo in the for the fixtures that week.  Have no fear, Ralph and Smokey are here.  We break down every position for the week, and give you the dynamite insight of why we do what we do.  We use the theory of fantasyitivity… it factors in value, match-up, and a good ole educated guess.  It sure seems to work with the ladies, as they are all flocking to Razzball Soccer site thinking this was a dating site.  Seriously, we have eclipsed all the other fantasy sites combined already, and only been live a week.  So if you’re a fella, looking for a lass, let Razzball be your eHarmony of fantasy.  Oh, by the way, by girls, I mean big husky guys.  Still interested in staying around?  Good, read about our Week 9 best forward options in EPL…

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So, we continue on with this week’s rankings by looking at the guys who man the box.  No, it’s not the top XI UPS workers, or porn stars for that matter, but rather the top XI defenders.  Can you feel the excitement? I know you can.  Don’t make me get the Razzball T-shirt cannon (that may or may not malfunction at a moments notice).  Just in case, look at the bright side… you get a t-shirt and a nice welt.  So the defender rankings are basically like this: You own Leighton Baines, you own Branislav Ivanovic, and then you fill in where you think the value is.  If this isn’t your strategy, then I’m confused.  The defender’s prices and scoring capabilities are so clean-sheet dependent, minus those two guys, that it’s a hunt and peck system, like when you don’t use the home row keys.  Leighton Baines, week-in-and-week-out is the stud, and it’s easy, because he is involved on so many set pieces as the man over the ball.  That right there is all you need to know.  That, and it’s illegal in Utah to curse at a dead person. So my rankings are multi-faceted. I use form, price, weekly opponents, and a little thing I call a hunch to determine my top-11 playable options every week.  So keep on keeping on to find out more about the men who guard the box.

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Transfer Tuesday. Transfer Tuesday. So if you’re new to the Razzball Fantasy EPL party, well technically we all are, Tuesdays going forward will be commingled garbage day covering Transfers and the upcoming week’s schedule. That first line is kinda ringing in my ear like I have Tinnitus.  So grab your portable device find your favorite porcelain seat, and enjoy the transfer targets for the upcoming Week 9 of fantasy EPL.  I am giving you all a look at who looks good, at the price they are, who is a bargain, and who is showing good form to grab on the cheap.  Pinching pennies is all the rave nowadays. My grandma has one, and she is about as hip as Huey Lewis and the News.  So enjoy my view from the weekly transfer window, or don’t.  Please don’t throw rocks though, they hurt more than Tinnitus.

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On June 2, 1988, Diego Maradona flew home to Buenos Aires after a long season with Napoli. Maradona was tired, and looking to unwind after yielding the Serie A Championship to A.C. Milan. With the desire to explore the unknown, and maybe bag a little strange, he headed to a club in the Las Cañitas section of the city by the name of the Kum Kum Room. After a long night of champaign and fine Colombian marching powder, Maradona stumbled home. As he shuffled one intoxicated step after another, he stopped to pee in the bushes outside a three-family home. While relieving himself in the well groomed shrubbery of Mr and Mrs. Antonio Aguero, he heard the cries of a newborn baby coming from the second floor of the home. In a cocaine-fueled delusion of grandeur, Maradona raised his right hand in the air and bestowed a divine sanction on the newborn babe. He then joyfully proclaimed: “May he be known as Kun!”

Fast forward 26 years, and that baby is now the father of Diego Maradona’s grandchildren, and one of the deadliest strikers in all of Europe. Yesterday afternoon, Sergio “Kun” Aguero had one of those vintage Maradona type of games. The Argentine scored all four of Manchester City’s goals, as the the Citizens outclassed Tottenham from start to finish. Aguero’s first goal was a thing of beauty, as he shook Younès Kaboul out of his boots, and belted a low hard strike past Hugo Lloris to the far right corner. His second and third goals came on penalties to the low left corner, that Lloris guessed terribly wrong on, both times. His coup de grâce came on his fourth and final goal, as he took a long pass down the right wing, made a move on Jan Vertonghen, and put a beautiful strike off his left foot into the far corner of the net. In the process of putting up a hat trick plus one yesterday, Aguero also became Manchester City’s all-time leading premier league scorer, passing Carlos Tevez on his second goal of the day. I think it goes without saying, when Aguero is healthy and in form, he’s one of the top two or three fantasy players in the Premier League. If you don’t own Diego Costa, Aguero, or Wayne Rooney as one of your strikers, you’re doing it wrong.

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